Chapter 40
“No, it really is her,” I said faintly.
Lilac had supposedly returned home with her mother after several days. She was standing under a small klosk by the roadside. She held a large umbrella above her as the rainwater splattered her short skirt, making her curves all the more apparent.
Lilac looked like a fake flower sprouting in the rain.
She placed her hands near her mouth again before yelling. “Felix!”
Felix saw her this time. Light glowed in his dark eyes. He ran out into the rain like an excited child, his white sneakers splashing in the dirty rainwater. “You’re back, Lili.”
Felix ran over and held Lilac in his arms. She giggled happily.
I stood there in the torrential rain, not even noticing that my umbrella was off–kilter. My heart felt numb.
Felix always managed to hurt me without so much as lifting a finger.
The wind and rain swirled around me cruelly. My heart was colder than the weather right now.
Lilac and Felix spoke to one another in the rain. Lilac giggled again and nuzzled into his arms.
Felix shot me a look as if considering my situation. But Lilac’s smile was too sweet, and her embrace too alluring. Felix wasn’t able to control himself in the end. He kissed her deeply on the lips like a starving man being offered food.
The image of Felix holding tender little Lilac in the rain and kissing her was quite sweet.
I heard the sound of my heart breaking.
Felix shielded Lilac as they ran in the rain, leaving me behind. Lilac turned around and yelled out to me.” We’ll be leaving first, Luna. Be careful!”
It was supposed to be a caring phrase, yet it broke my heart so much.
The two soon left, leaving only me alone in the usually busy street.
As wind and rain tore the skies above me. I stood there in the street and cried.
I used the rain, thunder, and lightning, as well as the pain in the deepest corners of my heart, to mourn
this love that I had never had.
The rain grew heavier. The clouds seemed to nearly swallow me whole. Water began pooling on the streets. Lightning flashed ahead from time to time, my heart flinching in tandem.
“Wake up, Luna. Didn’t you know from the start that Felix wasn’t yours? He never was and never will be, so why are you still crying for him?
“Haven’t you already let him go? Why are you still crying? There are so many other boys in this world. Why hurt yourself again and again through him?
“Aren’t you scared of hurting again? Won’t you give up out of desperation?” I asked myself again and again, yet my heart hurt too much.
I couldn’t find an answer, not with how in shambles my mind was.
I had feelings for Felix and gave him my all for 18 years. It wasn’t something you could just retract or
forget about in a day.
Perhaps I could really get over him in the future. But his existence had long saturated all my youth.
Even if the day that I finally got over Felix came, there might still be a tiny spot in my heart that belonged
to him.
Felix left me alone in the pouring rain, so I could only walk back home alone.