Chap
Chapter 331
Like Colin, he loved me with all his soul but had to suppress his own feelings. He even left home because of my promise to Felix.
It seemed like no one had it easy when it came to love.
I felt much better when 1 finished nearly all the pills Colin had bought for me. As my health recovered, I was excited to eat all the fried, greasy food my sick diet deprived me of.
However, it became Colin’s turn to fall sick.
For the first time in my life, Colin was ill.
He must have overworked his body from having so much on his plate lately. He had to look after me, go to school, and manage several projects simultaneously.
Fortunately, the staff dormitory he stayed in allowed visitations from students.
When I went to visit him, Colin was sitting on his bed. He was pale, his eyes had lost their luster, his countenance was sickly, and his nose was red. However, he still sat upright as he usually did.
I knew he was trying to look as robust as possible so that I wouldn’t worry about him. His thoughtfulness was so cute and filled me with a fuzzy feeling.
I then imitated what he had done when he looked after me. I lay him down on the bed, fed him some warm water, and wrapped him in a blanket like a burrito. Then, I stuck the last fever patch he had bought for me on his forehead before going out to buy him some cold
medicine.
He tried to stop me. He told me there was no need for the hassle as he was a strong man and this was but a small cold. He said that he just needed to sleep it off. No need for any medicine.
He asked me to stay by his side and never leave. He said I was the best medicine in the world. As long as I was with him, he wouldn’t need anything else.
It wasn’t until much later when my life took a miserable turn and when I thought about ending it all that I regretted disobeying him. I should have stayed by his side. I shouldn’t have
gone out to buy that stupid medicine.
For a very long time after that, I longed for him. I missed the scent of him. Yet I couldn’t be with him. I could only watch as he hung out with someone else while I walked to my campus alone. Like an abandoned puppy, I lost a home.
1/2
And during that period, I kept drowning my sorrows away. I kept hoping to find Colin in my dreams so that we could live the life we could’ve had.
Alas, I was never able to get drunk. The more I drank, the more sober I felt. I could only grit my teeth and power through one day after another.
If I could turn back time, I’d stay by his side. I’d sit next to him until he fell asleep. He’d love me like he used to and take me under his strong arms.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible to reverse time.
So, I had to pay for what I had done.
It was a price too heavy for me alone. I couldn’t shoulder it. I couldn’t endure it.
Despite Colin’s objection, I stubbornly left him behind in his dorm to purchase medicine for him.
I thought my gesture would convey to him how much I loved him and what I’d do for him. All he needed to do when I was there was to rest well. I could handle the rest. After all, looking after somebody was in a woman’s nature.
I remembered very clearly that it was a weekend. The school’s infirmary was closed, and there were no other pharmacies within the campus. To purchase medicine, I had to head to the drugstore chain outside the school.