Chapter 28
JANE
JOHN KISSED ME!!!
Even though we were both aware of our feelings for each other, this was the first time he was kissing me and it
was definitely not a mistake as it was obvious that he knew what he was doing.
Our tongues played with each other, each of them trying to fight for dominance, but I was quick to get a hold o myself, pulling away instantly.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized and rushed out of the room, ignoring him as he shouted my name and went to my
room.
As soon as I got to my room, I released the breath I was holding since I left the room as mixed feelings washed
over me.
I felt happy, I felt angry, I felt scared, but the most surprising one was the fact that I felt stupid.
I didn’t know why I felt that way, but it was so stupid for me to engage in a kiss with John, especially after I had told him that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with him.
And to think that it took just a kiss for all the anger I was pouring out to subside. Just a kiss, and it wasn’t like it was my first kiss.
And, why the hell did I apologize to him? He kissed me first and I was the first to apologize, like an idiot.
But it wasn’t like I could go back and take my apology, I wasn’t even sure I could even face him now.
Did I enjoy it? Yes
Was it better than Damien’s? No
Even though it pained me to admit it, Damien’s kiss was better. John was a good kisser, but there were feelings and sparks that I felt with Damien and was missing with him.
That was another reason I was trying to avoid the relationship between the both of us.
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Chapter 28
Don’t get me wrong.
I liked John. He was a good man, nice, easy going, patient and understanding, a lot better than that excuse of a mate the Moon Goddess paired with me.
It was just that I couldn’t picture myself in a relationship with him. I believed that we were better off being friends who relied on each other, than partners.
But, I needed to date him, even get married to him, so as to be able to reclaim my position and give my kids a good life.
He was someone the Moon Goddess sent to me as a replacement for Damien and I wouldn’t let feelings I couldn’t decipher, make me miss my opportunity.
Jane, are you in there?” I heard Cecelia’s voice and she knocked on the door, so I went to open it, only to see her standing there with a tray of food.
“You missed breakfast, so I brought some for you,” she informed, entering the room and placing the tray on the
table.
“You’re not asking me why I missed breakfast, which means you already know what is happening. That also explains why you brought me breakfast also, instead of calling me to come eat downstairs, “I uttered as I went to the table to start eating.
Stanley told me everything that happened. Are you okay?” She asked, taking a seat on the sofa as I began eating the food she brought for me and I nodded in response.
“We ended up arguing, only that it didn’t end up well,” I answered with food in my mouth.
“Why? What happened?” she questioned, getting curious and I shrugged.
“We kissed. Let me rephrase that, he kissed me and I ended up running out of his room like an idiot, “I explained nonchalantly, like I wasn’t still regretting what happened and she placed a hand over her mouth and made muffled screams.
she frowned after seeing my sad face.
You should be happy, isn’t that a stone to
your relationship?” She asked, being so happy than me, but
“What’s wrong? Did something else happen aside from that?” She asked and I shook my head.
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“Nothing happened; I’m just not happy with it. It didn’t feel as exciting as I thought it would and I feel like I have made a mistake, “I confessed, making her tense up.
Why would you feel that way? The both of you like each other and you kissed, so why are you feeling like you have made a mistake?” She asked, her voice laced with worry.
“I don’t know either. But it just feels so wrong, “I admitted.
Why? Because you kissed another man while carrying another man’s kids?” She asked and for once, that ideal struck me, making me wonder if that was true, but it wasn’t, so I shook my head.
If I was concerned about that, I wouldn’t have any feelings in the first place when I knew something like this was bound to happen, ” I answered truthfully.
Then, don’t you love him?” She asked and I shook my head again, chuckling in amusement
“You asking that question sounds funny when you know that my feelings for him are very obvious, “I replied and she groaned out in frustration.
Then, what the hell is wrong? You are not worried about kissing another man while carrying someone else’s child and you love him, so what’s the problem?” She asked again and I heaved out a frustrated sigh, not knowing where to start from.
It’s complicated, Cecelia and I don’t know how to start explaining it, “I lamented.
“You don’t have to worry about that, you can start wherever you see fit. That’s why I’m here, to help you lessen the worry in your mind. You’ll be giving birth soon, the last thing any of us would want is to be stressed before any of that happens,” she said and I smiled at her, still unsure if I should spill it out or not.
Okay, fine, “I huffed out a breath, deciding to be brave.
“I think I still have some lingering feelings for Damien, “I confessed while closing my eyes.
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