Jack blurted out something without context, and I was a little confused. I had trusted him from the beginning, so I didn’t understand why he was saying this. “What did you say?” I looked at him, puzzled. He walked over and glanced out the window.
“You told Zack, Crystal, and Julian about this… but not me. Is it because you don’t trust me?” He spoke without looking at me, almost as if he didn’t dare to.
I followed his gaze to the window. It was winter in Erewhon, and the snow had started falling.
The ward was warm, but my heart felt far from that.
I let out a quiet sigh. “Jack, you know that’s not what I meant.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. I just didn’t want to drag him into this. At the time, everything was uncertain, and I didn’t want him to worry. Besides, if he had helped, perhaps Leonard would have found me by now.
Jack suddenly turned to look at me and grabbed my hand tightly. “I know you didn’t want to drag me into this. You also know that I like you. You’ve always known.”
I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip tightened.
“Eva, don’t avoid it. I know you know everything. It’s not like you feel nothing for me, right? Then why not give me a chance? Why not give us a chance?”
His grip loosened slightly, but he still didn’t let go of me.
His eyes were full of longing, and he was eager to hear an answer.
I lowered my head, unsure of what to say.
A rich, handsome, and determined man who loved me unconditionally… It would be a lie to say it didn’t move me. But reason quickly snapped me back to reality. I couldn’t let myself be swayed. “I’m sorry, but we’re not meant to be.”
I pulled my hand away from his and looked up at him. “Jack, I know everything, but I can’t just accept your kindness without guilt. Putting aside whether I’m worthy or not, my current situation just isn’t right for dragging you in. And I do appreciate you, and I have feelings for you too… But this isn’t love.”
I had truly loved someone before, and I understood what that kind of feeling was. I couldn’t fully let go of my past.
Jack was a great person, and he deserved someone better than me.
And I… I was a woman who had been through three cancer surgeries and had my breast tissue removed. In my heart, I felt I wasn’t worthy of him.
When I thought about this, my resolve only strengthened, and I forced a smile.
“Jack, I’ve always said it
before-we’re not a good match for each other. I can be your friend or your subordinate, but I can’t be your lover I hope you can understand.”
I knew my words were harsh, but sometimes, it was better to hurt someone a little than to let them keep holding on to false hope.
Jack stared at me. He was silent for
what felt like a long time. I wasn’t sure how long it was before he finally spoke. He told me to rest before quickly leaving the ward.
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I didn’t know if he would hate me, but maybe it was for the best that we didn’t cross paths at all.
What I didn’t expect was that later that night, Jack came back-this time, with food he had cooked himself.
“Eva, I made some clam chowder
and grilled salmon. It’s hard to find salmon here. The doctor said you need to replenish your protein, so starting with light foods is okay.”
He seemed to be a little more chatty now, but he still didn’t dare to look at me.
“Jack, actually, what I said earlier-“
“Don’t say anything. Drink the chowder first. It’s going to get cold.”
He placed the bowl of chowder in front of me, his gaze soft.
“We’ll talk about everything else later. Right now, the most important thing is for you to take care of yourself. Don’t think about anything else.”
I reluctantly took the bowl of chowder.
Before I could say anything, he left the ward again, carrying a fruit basket.
“I’m going to wash the fruits. You carry on eating.”
I watched him leave and sighed.
Was he pretending like nothing had happened?
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