(JARED’S POV)
closer to understanding what I had lost.
Her name, in her handwriting. Keeping a diary? This is too old-shool, just what Arielle would do. How could I never realize she had this habit? My pulse quickened as I skimmed through the next few pages, my eyes searching for anything-anything that would bring me I came upon an entry, and the words on the page seemed to leap out at me.
“I discovered I was pregnant today. I’ve been having the symptoms, so I went to see a doctor. It’s confirmed, I’m going to be a mother! I can’t wait to tell Jared… he’s going to be so happy.”
The excitement in her words hit me like a punch to the gut. I could almost hear her voice in my head, the same way she used to look at me with that hopeful smile. My hands tightened around the diary as my chest constricted painfully. Our child.
I flipped to the next page, my eyes scanning the next entry.
“I was going to break the news to Jared tonight at our anniversary dinner, but he left on a work call and hasn’t come back yet.”
I paused, my breath catching in my throat. That night… I remembered it. I had left her, abandoned her at that dinner, not for work, but because Sofia had called me from the airport, and I’d rushed to her side. I didn’t even think about what Arielle had planned. Didn’t think about her at all. My jaw clenched. I always thought…we had time.
Each page I turned felt heavier than the last. The entries were raw, filled with Arielle’s pain, but not the jealousy I would have expected. No, it was worse-so much worse.
It was the heartbreak of a wife and new mother, someone whose world had slowly crumbled while I was too wrapped up in Sofia’s mess to even notice. Back then, I never saw my acts as a big deal.
“I miss him. I miss the way things used to be before she came back. It feels like he’s slipping away from me, and I don’t know how to hold on anymore.”
Her words were so simple, yet they cut deeper than any accusation. It wasn’t anger that spilled from the pages-it was sorrow. Quiet, relentless sorrow. Arielle wasn’t fighting for control. She was fighting not to lose everything we had built, to not be forgotten. I continued reading, each entry pulling me further into a world of regret I didn’t realize was this profound.
“I wanted to tell him about the pregnancy today, but he left again. I just… I can’t bring myself to tell him now. Not when he’s so distant. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own marriage. I don’t even know if he cares anymore.”
“He kissed her. He lied to me, and I don’t know if I can trust him anymore. I love him, but it hurts so much. I feel like I’ve lost him for good.”
I winced at that line, a sharp pang of
shame searing through me. I remembered that fake kiss. It hadn’t meant anything to me at the time, but to Arielle, it had meant everything. I had failed her
completely, in ways I hadn’t even realized.
Goodness! I feel like shit right now. I managed to read through more pages until I got to a part that was torn.
The next page I turned to was torn, jagged edges left behind where words had once been. My heart sank at the thought of what she had written and why she’d torn it out. What was too painful for even her to keep?
Out of instinct, I pressed my fingers lightly against the next blank page, noticing faint impressions left behind from the missing one.
The indentation of her words was barely visible, but as I angled the diary toward the light, I could just make out the faint outline of her writing.
My heart pounded as I slowly pieced together the words:
“I’m so sorry.”
“I wasn’t strong enough to protect you.”
“You deserved so much more.”
My throat tightened, and a wave of nausea hit me. She was apologizing. Not to me but to our unborn child My mind raced, filling in the rest of her words, imagining the sorrow she must have felt, apologizing to a child we never got to meet.
I could barely breathe.
This wasn’t just a torn page. It was the piece of her heart she couldn’t bear to let me or anyone-see. The raw, broken part of her that had suffered alone, silently, while I was busy giving my attention to someone else.
It wasn’t until I saw water stains on the paper that I realized I was in tears.
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