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“What happened Harl? Your dad and me called around a few times but Joel said you never wanted to see us again.” He looks at me confused.
“Everyone sent me away with him, Diesel put me in his car, I fought against him but he hit me and I passed out and woke up chained up.” He looks at me confused.
“Why? Why would he do that, you two were sleeping together. You just fucking married. I could tell something was off.” He looks at me confused and I shake my head crying. “Harl, please, none of this fucking makes sense.” He moves and kneels in front of me grasping my face. “Why would he do that if you were sleeping together?”
“We weren’t.” My words are broken and he looks at me confused.
“But you said, I asked and you fucking said yes!”
I shake my head and smile slightly. “You asked if he had fucked me, or if he had touched me. I didn’t lie.” I watch the realisation cover his
face.
“Why didn’t you say?” He looks at me shocked,
“Because he was using my dad to stop me. I didn’t want to lose my dad or for him to get in trouble, and if he knew he would.”
“Then why not fucking tell me?” He looks at me annoyed.
“I was going to, I tried and you ran off. I decided then to tell you that. the guy I spoke about was Joel, but you left, and I told you at the club,
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but you just shrugged.”
“I shrugged because I thought you fucked him, wanting to! I just poured my heart out to you and you burned it and threw the ashes back in my face.” His head shakes. “You were working, why wouldn’t you leave? Did you really stay for your baby to have a fucking family?” He looks at me shocked and now I realise he doesn’t know.
My eyes scan the room, and I wish my dad was here so I could escape. “Harl, what?” He looks at me, pulling my head back to look at him.
“It’s not his baby.” He looks at me confused. “It’s yours.” I watch him sit and stare at me, standing he walks out of the room, and my head falls forward. I knew he wouldn’t be happy. He’s moved on, so I won’t expect anything from him, nothing at all.
Ten minutes later he walks back through and stands in the kitchen.
“Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything. Once my dad comes I will leave and you won’t see me again.” I don’t want to but maybe it’s for the best. I fight back the tears and watch him kneel before me.
“I didn’t walk off for that reason.” His head drops. “Maybe had I talked, not rushed out when I asked that fucking question I would have found out the truth. I’m sorry Harl, I fucked up.” I shake my head at his words.
“I should have told you all sooner.” I should have.
“Tell me everything Harl, not just this time, but from when it started.” He sits and listens, and I watch the shock and disgust on his face as I tell him everything. From the first time when I left with Joel, until that night I ran. I tell him about everything that happened at my dad’s and his, and then after as well. He sits and listens to it all without. interrupting me. He listens to me explaining I said the safe word
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because I needed saving, but that the phone had a picture of Ivy with two of his friends and I had no choice but to agree to marry him and lie.
Afterwards, silence fills the room and I know what he is thinking.
“I knew. I always knew once you found out the truth and knew everything you would think I was disgusting and used.” He stares at me shocked.
“No! Harl if you told me before that wouldn’t have changed anything!”
“You’re lying as you would have told my dad and he would be locked up for murder.”
“Can you blame us? Why couldn’t you have just told me, or said you fucking loved me back?” He looks at me hurt.
“Because you loving me was another weapon he could use. Which he did.” I need to leave, Joel won’t ever stop coming back for me. So maybe I have this baby and leave it with Jasper? Then at least the baby
is safe.
“Baby girl, what’s wrong?” He looks at me and I fight back the tears.
“I need to leave.” He stares at me shocked. “Don’t, he will come back for me, he always will! The baby and everyone else are safer if I leave.” I can’t protect anyone, not even myself.
“You’re not leaving. Don’t be a fool, think about our baby.”
“I am! It’s safer with me gone. If I leave everything will be easier, you can carry on your life without me, everyone can.”
“You’re panicking, calm down.” He looks at me and I shake my head.
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“I’m not, I just know how this ends. I need to leave as soon as the baby is born, nothing will work if I stay. Nothing will go to plan and everything will fuck up!”
“Harl no!”
“You can’t say no! What happens if he comes back, takes the baby and uses it, then what? You don’t know what he will do or how far he will go.” His hands grasp my face.
“Baby girl, kiss me.” I stare at him confused.
“Why aren’t you listening?” He needs to listen.
“I am, do you trust me?” He looks at me and I nod. “Then fucking kiss me, right now you’re going crazy thinking of all the questions and issues, so kiss me and give yourself a fucking break.” He grips the back of my neck and pulls me to him.
Our lips meet and I cry slightly, craving more of him. He moves back slightly. “Trust me to protect your baby girl. Trust me, to have the answers, give yourself a break from worrying.” His lips meet mine again and I get lost in him, forgetting my questions and worries, when he pulls back, his hand grips my chin.
“If you ever feel like that, kiss me, don’t freak out over what ‘ifs‘ baby girl, leave the questions and answers to me, you focus on getting better.” I nod, but then realise this is nothing. My head goes to drop and he stops me. “What? Do we have to kiss again, baby girl? Because I will kiss you all night long if it gives your mind a break.”
“This can’t happen, you’re with someone. I’m married.” That reality really fucking hurts.
“Baby girl I wouldn’t have fucking kissed you if I was with someone.
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As soon as you told me the baby was mine I told her it was over. You‘ re not married! Believe me, give Sam a few days and you won’t be married. Stop overthinking, stop worrying, and as I said, use my mouth any time you need a distraction.” Well, he said to. Moving forward I kiss him, my hands pulling him closer as he holds me against him.
Quiet sobs escaping my lips as I push him back, and straddle him. His. groan makes me smile, I missed it, and him. He pushes me back slightly.
“Sleep, you have barely slept, so get some sleep baby girl, when you wake your dad should be here.” He moves and covers me, and I find myself falling asleep quickly. Yet my sleep is plagued with nightmares. that have me jumping awake constantly. He comes over and cuddles. me against him as I fall back to sleep feeling his arms comforting me.
11 18D