Chapter 16
Just before I clicked the “Submit” button, I changed my preferred college to another one up north called Lincoln University. That university was famously known for its watercolor courses and had produced many renowned watercolor artists in the country.
Since I didn’t want to go to Jesselton College, Lincoln University was my next best choice.
Uncle Austin and Aunt Mel both asked me if I applied to Jesselton College. I managed to bluff my way through without giving any definite answers.
Finally, it was the day that college and university applications were out. I received my acceptance letter in the mail. And I spent a good chunk of that day in a daze. I just couldn’t come out of it.
I wasn’t in the same league as he was, after all. My acceptance letter had now cemented that fact. This was another feat in clearly drawing the boundaries between the two of us.
Felix brought his acceptance letter and ran into my house. He then insisted on looking at mine.
“Luna, please show me your acceptance letter! I want to have a closer look at it myself. Here’s mine.
Have a look!”
He smiled very handsomely at me. It was the same gorgeous smile that kept me awake all night.
I calmly handed my acceptance letter to him. He took one look at the name of the university on the header and widened his eyes in shock,
He was most definitely shocked. He probably never expected it from me.
I’d been listening to his advice since I was young, taking his opinion into account each time. He must never have thought that I would do the exact opposite of what he expected when it came to applying for
our tertiary education after high school,
He also probably never thought that I was no longer the same person he thought I was. He was the one
responsible for the change in me, after all.
“Luna? Why?”
There was hurt in his eyes as he looked at me.
I was depressed when I lost him. I just couldn’t afford to lose myself as well.
He abandoned me and told me he didn’t love me. If that was the case, I wanted him to let go of me.
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“The teacher said that the watercolor fine arts course there is more suitable for me,” I said with a faint smile without looking into his eyes. I didn’t want to know how he’d react after listening to my explanation.
“Damn. You must still be mad at me. If Mom finds out you didn’t get into the same college as me, she’s going to beat me up.”
“She won’t,” I answered calmly. “If she really were to hit you, we’d all be able to hear it because we live so close to each other. I’ll explain things to your mom. I won’t let her hurt you.”
He suddenly sprawled on my desk and came a lot closer to my face. He was so close that I could count the lashes on his eyelids.
My heart started thumping wildly again. Pathetic, I knew.
But I was really, really in love with his eyes. They held the entire universe in them.
“Luna, look at me. Tell me you’re not still mad at me for what I said that day. You’ve been blaming me all
the time, haven’t you? Luna, I was talking nonsense that day. Couldn’t you just forget about it?”
No, I couldn’t forget it even if I tried.
He hurt me too deeply.
It was bad enough that I lost my love that day. I couldn’t lose my dignity as well.
Also, since we weren’t meant to be together, what was the point of making things awkward and difficult
between us both?
“I’d forgotten about it a long time ago,” I said.
He left shortly after with a sad look on his face.
I just couldn’t understand him. This was the best I could do, so what was he still dissatisfied about?
I lived in Southsville, which was located at the southmost point of the country. Meanwhile, Lincoln
University was located about two thousand miles north of where I was. We were separated by the entire
country.
My parents didn’t want me to travel so far away to further my studies for so many years. They were worried that I wouldn’t be able to get used to the food or weather there or simply the fact that they
wouldn’t be nearby.
The night I received my acceptance letter, Mom broke down in tears and asked me if I wanted to
consider retaking my SATS so that I could reapply to Jesselton College next year. Even if I didn’t get in, I could still try for the other reputable colleges nearby.
In their words, they wanted me to find a college closer to home so that it would be easier for them to take care of me. That way, they wouldn’t be worried sick about my well–being all the time either.
I understood where they were coming from, especially my mother, but did they ever consider it from my point of view?
To forget him, I needed to have a clean start altogether. For that to happen, I needed an environment without Felix in it.
Even so, I said nothing as I silently stared at my mother.