Chapter 15
There was a female student in the next class named Lilac Hawthorn. She was a new transfer student from a different city. She had a small frame and a round face and wore her hair short. Every time she smiled, two dimples would appear on her cheeks that made her look sweet and endearing.
I saw her walking with Felix many times at school. I’d stare and stare at their hands that always seemed to be intertwined. My heart would break each time I saw them together.
The day after SATS, I saw Felix pulling her to a corner and telling her that he would go to the same college she was going to. He said that he wanted to be her knight in shining armor and protect her for the
rest of his life.
When I heard that, I swore my heart felt like it was smashed into a million pieces.
There was only so much time and energy one could spend on others. Since Felix decided to be Lilac’s knight in shining armor, there was no way he could also be my guardian angel at the same time. It was just a feeble attempt at redemption for him to feel less guilty about what he did in the past.
But I was a living, breathing being, and I didn’t want to continue getting hurt. I didn’t want the pain to linger or last forever. I couldn’t possibly bear to continue seeing them being sweet to each other for the rest of my college life because it would be pure torture for me.
I didn’t want that.
I’d given 18 years of myself to Felix. But from the 19th year onward, I wanted to be myself once more.
Which meant that there was no way I’d apply for the same college or university that he did.
We handed in our application forms on the same day.
Right after he submitted his application, he bounced over to my room like an excited rabbit and hovered around me, asking me if I’d also finished my applications.
At that moment, I was pretty sure I saw stars in his eyes. But I knew they weren’t glittering for me.
“I’m done with mine.”
“Did you apply to Jesselton College too? I heard that they’re taking in a lot of applicants this year. You’ll
get in for sure!”
“Felix, is Lilac also going to Jesselton College?”
I hadn’t wanted to ask him at first. After all, I already knew his answer. But part of me still held onto the shred of hope that things might turn out unexpectedly for me.
As it turned out. I was too dumb and stupid to still place my hopes on him.
But what was there to do? I still had a massive crush on him.
Felix hesitated for a while before breaking into a wide smile. He said, “Of course! She’s such a timid little thing that she’d probably break down in tears if I weren’t there next to her every day.”
I looked away at once to hide the pain I was feeling inside me.
Felix, this dumbass. I also cried myself to sleep every time I thought about him. However, he would never
find out now.
He had never once belonged to me, ever.
“Well, it’s not going to be easy being someone’s knight in shining armor. You’re going to be plenty busy real soon. Gotta buck up,” I said, teasing him.
Felix’s smile gradually disappeared from his face. He looked at the fake smile plastered on my face, and his eyes turned dark.
“Thanks, Luna. And I’m sorry.”
He’d apologized to me so many times, but those two words could never heal the scar on my broken heart.
I smiled faintly a at him and shifted my gaze to a random spot on the table. I suddenly caught sight of four tiger figurines on the table in all sorts of funny poses.
He’d given those figurines to me on my 16th birthday. I remember him telling me, “Lulu, these figurines are for my girlfriend. I’ll give them to you first for safekeeping. When I finally get a girlfriend, you can
return them to me.”
Back then, I honestly thought that I would grow up to be his girlfriend eventually. Now, I finally understood that he was simply looking for a safe keeper for those figurines.
It had been three years since then. He’d finally found a girl that he liked. That meant my time as the tigers
‘legal guardian was up.
I picked up the four figurines and placed them in his hand.
He asked me in confusion, “What are you doing?”
“What was I doing? Felix White, I’m just following your orders. You were the one who told me to do this. How could you play innocent now?” I thought.
“You told me you only gave them to me for safekeeping back then. They were to be for your future
girlfriend. Now that you’ve finally got one, I shouldn’t hold them hostage anymore. I’m just returning them
to you.”