Chapter 42 – Final Goodbyes
“I exist in two places, here and where you are.“– Margaret Atwood
Kiya
This has to be dealt with. It’s a simple parting conversation, right? Nothing more, nothing less.
Even though this is the last time we’ll see each other.
Upon my approach, Neron’s eyes glittered in glee but dimmed quickly after. Pretending to not see the sudden shift in emotion, I stuff my hands in my pockets and smiled awkwardly, closing the distance between us.
“Hi.
“Hi.” He responded. “Do you have everything? If not, I can send the rest of your stuff to California.”
I shake my head. “It’s fine, Neron. I have everything.” Another shaky sigh from me, more awkwardness from both of us. And silence.
We aren’t good at this.
“How are you feeling?” I ask after the silence became torture. “With all of this? You said little about it this morning.” Or in wolf–form. After breakfast and before packing, Neron and I let our wolves out. Artemis and Onyx went on their last run together, racing through the dense oak trees. Without being the one in control, I could feel Onyx’s sadness roll off his fur in tsunami waves as he pumped his legs faster through the forest.
It hurt. And Artemis knew it too. After the run, she said nothing. She didn’t respond to my attempts to talk to her. I figured she needed time for the finality of the situation to marinate.
“I’m…” Neron hesitated, averting his eyes to the side. “Honestly? It’s not what I want, but it has to be done.” The Alpha sighed sharply, rubbing the back of his head. “I don’t want you to leave, Kiya. Onyx doesn’t either. Like the selfish pricks we are, we want you and Artemis at our side. However, the thought of you being miserable next to me hurts more than the inevitable distance between us.”
I said nothing. I don’t know what I could say. His sorrow is as sharp as a knife, piercing through the defenses I built around me. Maybe there’s a part of me that didn’t want to leave him–a tiny part, but I’m losing my mind and have to go.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I caused a lot of trouble here, did I?”
“We needed it.” Neron chuckles, gazing at me longingly. “It made me more aware of the shit you have to deal with. And what we put you through. Your arrival opened my eyes and I know it did the same for others like your sister. But, it’s my fault for not providing a safe enough space for you for your entire stay.”
“Things happen that are beyond our control.” I retort. “You did your best, Neron. It’s not like we could’ve predicted Odessa going insane, or Tristan’s bullshit, or even Osiris. Trauma won this round, I suppose.”
“I agree. Zircon Moon has nothing to offer you but madness. You deserve so much better, Kiya.” Blue eyes glistened with wonder when he noticed something. His large hand went to my collarbone, fingers gently caressing the silver pendant hanging from my neck. The touch of his fingers was soft, cautious. “You’re wearing it.”
Chapter 42–Final Goodbyes
I’m wearing the full moon necklace Neron gifted me on our date to the amusement park. Our first date. The gold star charm with my first initial sang quietly when it clinked against the pendant. I never told him, but whenever I wore it, it made me happy. Because he gave the gift a lot of thought, especially engraving it with my birthday. And it’s beautiful. It made sense to wear it.
“Yeah.” I smile small. “Thank you for it. It…means a lot.”
Suddenly, Diana flew in like a rocket, resting her talons on my shoulder. Her wings fluttered, picking wind up along with strands of my hair. Ah, I couldn’t forget about my little friend! She followed me here to Zirco Moon, and I know she’ll follow me back to Garnet Moon. Wherever I go, she’ll follow.
However, there is a level of fondness in her golden eyes when she gazes at Neron. Molten yellow held words and emotions she couldn’t express through her beak. Fluttering off my shoulder to his. The owl nuzzled her head into Neron’s cheek, making the grown man chuckle in delight.
“I’ll miss you too, Diana. Watch over Kiya for me, okay?”
“Hoo!”
As I watched the affection between man and owl, the shrill of a car horn startled me. Dad is driving us back home, and he wants me in so we can make it in time for lunch.
This is it. My final goodbye.
Neron realized it, and sadness permeated off of him again. Diana gently pressed her beak to his cheek and flew away into the trees, already taking off back to California.
“I think she just kissed you.”
“Well, I’m flattered!”
Neron looks at me, and I look at him. It seemed like forever. Pain rings in my heart at the sight of the love and hopes he has for me in his eyes, and I know I can’t reciprocate those same feelings back to him. He continues to give while I continue to take. This isn’t right for either of us. The only thing I can do is wish him well with whatever path he walks in the future with his pack.
“Before you go, I want to give you something.”
“More gifts? You know how much I don’t like gifts.”
“Well, I want you to take this one. Think of it as a parting gift.” Neron grabs something from behind the door and hands it to me. It’s a squared manilla package. Not heavy, but not light either. The edges were hard when I tried to cop a feel of the mysterious item. Before I could rip it open, his hands stopped me. “No. I want you to open it when you’re off my territory. That’s the least you can do for me, Kiya.”
“Why?”
“Promise me.” He said urgently.
I arched an eyebrow but didn’t question his intentions, even though I should. “Okay. It’s not something that’ll explode in my face, right?”
“No, but I hope it puts a smile on your face.”
Chapter 42–Final Goodbyes
F*cking hell, my cheeks are hot. I’m blushing. Thank Goddess for dark skin. Leave it to Neron to make me flush before I leave. Firmly nodding, I hug the package to my chest. “Can you also do me another favor?” He suddenly asks.
“That’s a lot of favors.” I laughed, but Neron didn’t. Not wanting things to be awkward again, I cleared my throat. “What is it?”
you call me once you get home safe?” He looks away sheepishly, his cheeks tinting a mellow pink. If there is one sight, I enjoy out of everything here, is how embarrassed the Alpha looks. Pink is a pleasant color on him. “It’ll put my heart at ease knowing that you’re okay. If you don’t want to, I understand.”
I regarded Neron with a look for a minute, pondering on my thoughts. Then, I reached into my back pocket, unlocked my phone, and handed it to him. “Add your number.”
We exchanged numbers for a moment, plugging each other into our contact list. A hint of glee bubbled in me once I set Neron’s number in my phone. Excitement is ever so present on his face as well. It feels wrong to do, but also right. How confusing does this have to be?
“I’ll call you.”
Dad honked again, impatiently. We’ve run out of time, I thought it’d be easy to just walk away, but it wasn’t. All I had to do was turn around and walk without looking back. I’ve done it been before, so why the f*ck was
it so hard now?
“Kiya…”
Oh, f*ck it.
I hugged Neron. Tight. My head rests on his hard chest and my arms are around his waist. I didn’t know what I was feeling from this, but I felt it. Strange, yet satisfied. Without hesitation, Neron hugged me back just as tight, pressing firm kisses on my forehead and hair. If a normal human were to look at us, we’d be a couple saying their goodbyes before being separated.
Neron and I aren’t a couple. But why do I feel pain? Why does it hurt to see the saddened look on his face? The sparks of our mate bond are so faint–barely hanging on the thread of life. They’re there, vying for the connection between destined mates. The Alpha sighed heavily above me, rubbing the back of my curls with the gentleness of a feather.
“I love you.” He whispered to me. “I know you’ll never say it back, but I’ll never stop saying it to you. Please, for the good of yourself, heal. Treat yourself kindly. Do whatever you need to heal, even if it means forgetting
me.”
“Neron…”
“I don’t want you to be in pain anymore.” He confesses. Hot tears rain on my head, seeping into my scalp.
“I’m sorry that I did nothing but worsen it. Get better, my angel. Live your life the best way you can. Whatever trouble comes your way, I know you can deal with it.”
“I’m messed up, Neron.”
“No.” He growls softly. “You’re hurting.
“Why do you love me so much?”
Chapter 42–Final Goodbyes
“Because you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. And you touch the hearts of those around you without realizing it. You’re strong, dedicated to your cause, stubborn, and pure–hearted. You can change the world, Kiya. I’ve been my happiest when you were here, and now you need to be at your happiest away from here. It’s a shame I was too much of an idiot to love you before this.”
Separating, Neron showed me his face. His smile betrays the tears swimming down his cheeks like a flowing river. Pain is his best friend, but he’s shoving it aside for me. Because he wants the best for me, even if it hurts
him.
I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem fair.
“Your family is waiting for you.” The Alpha whispers. “Have a safe trip home.”
He nudged me toward the car, pushing me away. The longer I stayed, the more it hurt him. My body felt like lead, but my legs moved on their own accord. My family is waiting for me. Waiting to take me home. To my safety net
I should be happy. I get to see my big brother and my niece, and I’ll be around people who cherish me. It’s a moment I should be grateful to leave a place that caused me too much pain. So why the f*ck does it hurt?
Silently, I hopped into my seat, with Neron’s gift still hugged to my chest. The car door closed with a loud and deep click separating me from the land.
Just like the day I renounced my bond with Zircon Moon. Oh, how the puzzle pieces fit together.
Happy chatter and mingles of my friends and family faded into background noise as I stared out the clear window. Neron’s form grew smaller as the van rolled out of the territory for the last time. Soon, he, along with the pack house, is shielded from my view by the large, thick oak trees of the forest. Once we were passed through the gates, Zircon Moon became nothing but a memory.
The gates closed, and that chapter has finally ended.
Now, it’s just a large family on a five–hour trip back to California.
And I’ve never felt so lonely.
Third Person POV
Neron stared into the distance for what seemed like a millennium. The van that carried the Garnet Moon family, including his mate, is long gone. But it didn’t move him. He kept staring, hoping that the car would turn around and return his mate to him. He longed for Kiya’s arms around him again. Deep within him, Onyx howled in misery as the forced separation between him and his destined wolf partner.
Both are hurting, but the Alpha refused to show
“Hey, Neron,” Behind him, Raina slowly walked up, feeling the pain of her little sister’s departure. Little did anyone know; she watched the car roll off the lands as well from a distance. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?”
Neron sighed heavily, shutting his eyes to prevent more tears from falling. Abruptly, he turned on his heels and walked past his Beta Female. “No. I’m sorry, Raina.”
Skipping two stairs at a time, his legs carried him to Kiya’s room. His expert series picked up ran the waning scent of honeyed strawberries, Something in him desperately wanted to hold on to whurt is left of his mate. Closing the door behind him, he sat on the bare mattress, grabbing a pillow, and taking a deep whiff of it.
It’s like she’s still there with him.
And he didn’t know pain until his tears rained on the pillow
“It packing hurts, Onye” Neron complained to his soll. “It burns! Everything burns!”
“I know I’m feeling it too. I miss her just as much as you do,”
“I know we did the right thing, but it’s so painful. What am I going to do now, Ony
Onyx didn’t reply, bathing Heron in silence. His choked sobs are muffled by the pillow be pressed hard against his fate, silently praying for Kiya’s appearance next to him..
At the same time, the passenger van rolled down the road, approaching the state line between Nevada and California. Kiya, curiously, peered at the package that rested on her lap. She promised Neron that she’ll open it when she’s off his lands.
Now was as good a time as any.
Holding her breath, she tore apart the manilla packet, the mysterious item becoming recognizable. Once it was fully open, all the tears she held in rushed out faster than a bullet train.
It was a portrait drawn to her liking. The realism was uncanny, for every feature she didn’t know she had been drawn perfectly. The abundant curls, her wide nose, her plump lips, and medium–sized cars–everything was perfectly portioned. And the color of the portrait made her heart stop.
Neron took the time to match the brown coloring to her skin color.
Kiya cried. And cried. And she didn’t know why. As Jacqueline cradled her in her arms, she continued to cry and clutch onto the framed drawing for dear life. When asked why she was crying, all she could respond with was “I don’t know! I don’t know…”
However, soon after that, the action ceased amongst the Garnet Moon family.
Because something violently collided with their vehicle with enough force to kill humans.
Sending their van tumbling until it came to an ominous stop, glass raining on concrete.