Chapter 27 – Bloody Vengeance
“This truth drives me into madness. I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away.” “Whisper by Evanescence
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(Content Warning: Mentions of Rape and Violence. Reader discretion is heavily advised)
Kiya
Never have I thought I’d be in this position.
Facing the man–no. The monster who took pleasure in abusing me in the most heinous of ways.
I took the beatings and humiliation. I was taciturn and isolated, yet mended my abandoned heart with the miserable thoughts of being unlovable.
But the day that guard crept into my cell was the beginning of my nightmares. Night after night, he had his way with me. Internally and externally with a free rein of what I idiotically called a body. A soiled temple. Rapid muscle loss didn’t discourage his sinister hands from stealing my autonomy and leaving me broken and bloody.
Brown came in plethoric shades. Russet unveiled the rich, liquid gold in the sunlight. Umber is dark, pulling the viewer into a sea of secrets. However, the guard’s brown eyes came in the shade of evil. Wickedness is
unrivaled to ill–famed autocrats of our horrible world.
My heartbeats thump piercingly in my ears, dissimilarly to the surrounding deafening silence of the corridor. My lungs work through my narrow breaths, desperate for adequate oxygen I failed to deliver. Sweat rolls down
mytes and my muscles tremble–the heightened response to fear.
Fear of being hurt by a rapist.
“It’s been a long time, Halima.” His vile breath assaults my nostrils like a battering ram, triggering nausea in my stomach. “You look great.”
I didn’t answer. I took in the aging appearance of the devil’s son. Muscles in my lips are paralyzed, but my defenses crumble, exposing the dark memories that danced in their freedom.
“No!” I heard the voice. “Please, stop!” The voice of my old self, Halima. The voice of the victim. My
voice. “Leave me alone!”
Therapy is a double–edged sword. It helps to process the turbulent events of one’s life, but it forces the individual to remember the terror like it happened a couple of hours prior. Hurt never disappears–it’s only buried deep in the abyss. It remains and feasters like an infected wound, spreading mercilessly.
I wanted to forget. I needed to forget.
“You never thought to come and greet your old friend? Halima, I’m ashamed of you.”
That smile. That damned smile that haunted my dreams and nightmares as a weak teenager. It lovingly sheltered me in violent chills with reminders of my lowest moments. Lower than what former Alpha Jonathan
could ever make me feel.
“Stop struggling, bitch!” I heard his voice, then the resounding slaps. “You should be grateful that someone wants
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a touch your sorry–looking body.”
How many times have I gazed in a mirror, wishing for a different body? A body untainted and unblemished from innumerable types of hands. A pure body touched by love, not viciousness. How many times have 1 coveted to shed this old skin? How many times have I’ve thought about carving out the areas he touched with a silver blade, so I never have to feel his phantom fingers again?
How Many F*cking Times.
There it was: the familiar pain–agony of being torn apart internally, being held down to a dirty mattress, defenseless and vulnerable. The cool breeze licking my exposed legs and his hard knees forcing my legs apart.
The pain of my soul shattering with each cataclysmic thrust. Even the shatters shattered to smaller pieces.
Screaming.
Begging.
Crying.
Bruising.
Yet, no one heard me. No one saw me. Even as blood swam down my legs, no one cared. I was to clean and be unseen. Unheard. The torture that everyone turned the blind eye to will come back as karmic punishment.
He stole my innocence from me. A potentially fun, blissful, first sexual experience turned into a tragic story of theft and greed. It’s something I can’t reclaim again. It’s gone forever, belonging to my rapist.
“Do you regret it?” I asked, my voice emotionless. Red spots flashed before my eyes, breaking through my vision. Growing. Lusting for gore and vengeance. “Do you regret raping me?”
“You’re calling it rape?” The guard released a burst of hearty laughter. So, that’s what it is? My pain is comedic, just like many in this pack. “I call it a gift because I was the only one who wanted you. I’ve taught you a lot of things, Halima. You should thank me for giving you the experience of a lifetime.” His fingers curled under my chin, lifting slightly. “I could give you more if you like. Alpha Neron doesn’t have to know.”
“Let me get this straight.” The red pulsated, and the pained screaming in my head amplified. “I should be grateful that you’ve raped me on and off for three years? That I’ve cried and prayed to the Moon Goddess every night for you to leave me alone? And that I wished I didn’t have to feel the lingering sensations of your…” I swallowed. “And you dare to offer sex?!”
“Hey, don’t take it so personally.” He chuckled heinously. “Alpha Jonathan permitted us to do whatever we wanted to you. I was needy, and you were there. No harm, no foul, right?”
My mind blanked
Silence.
Everything stilled as if time stopped. Artemis remains behind the mental wall–protected from the haunting memories. She can’t know. My wolf was tucked away safely, so she didn’t have to see his sweaty face or hear his lustful grunts. I’ll protect her!
I’m not scared. I’m not the little bitch crying in the cobwebs of her cell. I’m not the little bitch who flinches
from the raised hands of whoever is unfortunate enough to bear the Zircon Moon mark.
I’m furious.
I want vengeance.
I want blood,
I want death.
“And it’s all yours, Little Moon.” The haunting melody of Osiris’s voice resonates in my head. The mark on my neck pulsated, reaching out to its creator. “Let go of your Inhibitions and feel your anger. Allow for the rage to take over. Who cares if a little blood gets spilled? Those stupid Omegas will clean it up. You had to clean your blood for years.”
He’s right.
I’ve played the part of the good girl for too long.
I want to be a monster. I want to be the beast.
“No harm, no foul?.” I smile sweetly at the unnamed guard, my claws lengthening underneath my fingernails. “You don’t have regrets for raping me. I won’t regret it when I do this.”
Red is all I wanted; the stunning color of passion and unadulterated rage. The color of the unhinged beast that even Artemis will quake in fear from. Broken from its chains, it’s ready to kill.
“And my f*cking name is Kiya!”
The sickening yet satisfying crack of the guard’s broken nose was glorious. I wanted more! My bout of violence took aback him, but I didn’t stop there, I threw another punch, landing again on blood spraying from the hit.
His pained yells fueled me more. I wanted more broken bones and more blood! I wanted to feel the power he took from me! His large body fell to the ground when I kicked his knees in, laughing gleefully.
I stomped on his face. Twice. Thrice. Blood continuously sprayed like an uncontrollable hose, painting the white walls with a charming splash of crimson. “No harm, no foul, right motherf*cker?!”
The bastard is a guard, so he knew how to fight. Too bad that I was better; fueled by uncontainable rage. Whenever he got up, I knocked him down. He threw a punch. I caught it and crushed it. And his arm. I crushed the bones I could get my hands on.
I filled the guard with dread and shock. Good. That’s how it should be; him cowering as I unleash years‘ worth of anger onto his pathetic body.
My claws lusted for crimson as well. Besides a broken nose, he sported deep claw marks on his right ch*ek, exposing the fibers of the muscle.
I’m far from done.
Blood splatters my blouse and skirt, adding to my grotesque appearance. But hey, it’s a fashion statement! It’s only a matter of time before the f*cker turns into a coward and calls his Alpha for help.
Chapter 27 – Bloody Vengeance
So, I pushed him down the stairs when we got close enough.
Tumble. Tumble. Crash! Descending one step at a time, I watched him weakly crawl on his knees, spitting crimson onto the pristine floors of the foyer. A werewolf’s healing is a beloved and accursed ability because I can’t admire his shattered bones for long.
But that means I get to break them all over again.
“It’s
not enough.” Reaching the bottom stair, I rammed my foot into his face again, hitting an eye. “This is nowhere near the amount of f*cking pain you’ve caused me for years! You deserve to be castrated!”
“You’re a f*cking crazy bitch!” The guard pathetically screamed. “You think beating me up would get your pathetic virginity back?!”
“Nope,” I smirk, grabbing a fistful of his greasy brown hair. “Killing you will ensure you’ll never hurt me again.”
Anger is well–needed fuel for the muscles. Unbridled rage makes me unbreakable. Instead of the smell of sweet cake, I smell blood–drenched coriander and it tickles the demons deep within. The pungent aroma grew with every bash of his head against the bottom stair. Cranial and facial bones shatter upon impact, permanently disfiguring his face.
Each pained groan enticed a sweet giggle from my lips. Weak. He’s f*cking weak. My darkest fantasies of delivering this same treatment to others brought life into my tired muscles, pushing me to disfigure the guard more. Nothing will be enough to remove the permanent pain of the heart.
He grew silent. He’s dead, perhaps?
Gosh, I hope not!
“Good girl.” Osiris‘ praised, sickly sweet. It did wonders to calm my beast from its frazzled, blood–lust state. “That felt good, did it? Do you see what happens when you allow yourself to feel the darkness? You’re so much happier, my sweet! You’re free!”
That’s the thing.
I’ll never be free. Not as long as I feel the deep–seated pain that ravages my body like a disease.
Standing to my feet, I examined the crime scene I’ve created. The blood trail begins from where I first drew blood, trickling down to the bottom of the stairs with the bastard’s face lying in its mini–pool of red.
His pain is not enough.
“Holy shit, what the f*ck?!”
Great. Here comes the party poopers.
Everything became a whirlwind of activity. The red haze hasn’t left, but I didn’t want it to leave. It made me feel treasured. It’s the only part of me that loves me. Neron checked the pulse of the stupid guard and he ordered Valerian to call the pack hospital to prepare a bed where Kwame carefully turned him on his back.
After all this, I didn’t get his name.
I’m pulled away from the scene, shielded by my friends who all asked me what the f*ck happened. I think they can guess from the blood on my clothes that’ll make Jason Voorhees shake his machete in jealousy.
“He deserved it.” Was all I said. I felt no guilt for what I did. “And I’ll do it again ten times over.”
“Dude, you attacked a member from a different pack!” Galen yelled.
“I don’t give a f*ck!” I shrieked. The red grew stronger. “You can’t stop me from doing it again!”
“But I can.” Neron’s thunderous voice rang, causing everyone to still. Everyone except me. His bulking body marched over with a deep scowl, amusement dead from his eyes. Kiya, what the f*ck?! How could
you be so careless? Do you know what the hell you’ve done?”
replied:
“Enlighten me,” I which angered the Alpha further.
“Goddess, I hope you have a good explanation for this. I cannot sweep this under the rug, Kiya, even if you’re my mate. Tristan was an important part of our plan and you ruined it! And there are serious consequences for. assaulting a pack member, especially a guard!”
Gradually, the red faded into the colors of the foyer. With the haze gone, the pain of my trauma rocked me from head to toe. I realize what I’m about to say–the shameful secret I’ve kept within myself for years. A secret that birthed more night terrors than physical abuse.
The worst secret of my life.
“He raped me, Neron.”
The commotion in the foyer died instantly when I uttered the forbidden words. No one dared to utter a word, not even as the birthday party echoed in the distance. “He raped me so much that I lost count after the fifth time. I would bleed for days, but that didn’t deter him. In fact, it served as his motivation to hurt me more. 1 begged, I screamed, but he didn’t stop He never stopped! He would always tell me that I should be grateful that someone wanted to f*ck me, no matter how disgusting 1 looked…”
My voice dropped to a hoarse whisper interlaced with my pain. “No matter how much everyone hated me.”
I brought my fingers to my ch*eks, unknowingly feeling the overflowing scorching tears burn the tips- carrying the burden I held for years. The burden I forced myself to keep in the desperate hope that I’ll forget.
Humans say time heals all wounds and I foolishly believed it would apply to my rape. For a while, it was good. I didn’t remember. That’s how I wanted it.
Yet, when I saw the guard’s face and devilish smile, he pulled those memories from their grave and set them free into the world. Even as he is taken away to get the medical treatment he doesn’t deserve, I still feel his phantom hands roaming and pinching my body, his rancid breath fanning my face, and his violent penetration.
He ruined me.
Everyone could put statues to shame with their stillness, but their shock is palpable.
I smiled bitterly not at my friends, but at the three ranked wolves of this sorry excuse of a pack. “But how would any of you know, huh? No one could hear my screams from the dungeons! Or, maybe, you did hear but chose to ignore it.”
Chapter 27- Bloody Vengeance
“Has it ever crossed your mind that a fate worse than death was happening underneath the floorboards of this f*cking house? I wished–no, prayed that this family could protect me from the monsters you’ve allowed to roam in your halls. None of you could deliver. None of you gave a damn! I guess you shouldn’t care for a slave. They’re seen as less than human, right?”
“But, it’s fine.” I sniffled and wiped my tears in frustration. “I never expected a superhero. After a while, I gave up that stupid wish. That’s what it means to be abandoned by people who swore their love but would turn their you at a moment notice.”
Then, my eyes met with Neron’s terrified blue. I prompted, “How does it feel to know your precious guard f*cked me before you ever could?”
The silence is deafening. Yet, I lost the will to care. For anything.
As the tears continued to flow, I turned on my heels and threw the front door open. I stripped out of my bloodied clothes and disappeared into the woods in wolf form.