*Colette*I yank the covers over my head, my knees pulling up as I struggle to keep myself from breaking into tears. Merikh has been the only thing keeping them at bay. He is my strength even when he doesn’t try. His very presence brings me a calm, but since he has left me I feel like I have nothing else to think about but what I am missing.Well, more like who I am missing, both of them.I didn’t have them for long, yet it felt like forever as the memories I once lost or repressed come flooding back with every passing second I live in a world without them.Merikh’s distress breaks through our mate bond, his emotions overwhelming as his worry for Hayes melds with my own. I toss my blanket off, jumping up and grabbing a robe before I fly out of the room. My knees give out as I stumble into the wall, an arm grabbing my elbow as I am pulled up. I meet a frowning freckled face when I look up and Percy releases me.”Where are you heading to, Luna?” He asks. “You should be resting.””Merikh needs me,” I tell him and though he looks unpleased, he silently leads the way, looking over his shoulder to indicate that I should follow him.”I take it he heard Beta Hayes’ nightmare and went to check on him?” He asks.”We both did,” I admit, tugging my robe tighter as I recall the way his voice broke through even my most exhausted state of sleep. “Have you seen him?””Beta Hayes?” he asks, slowing down so I can walk next to him. My legs feel wobbly with every step. What I need is sleep and a day in the healing waters again. And Merikh.”Yeah,” I say, recalling just how terrible Hayes looked when we checked on him before going to our room. Guilt prickles at my neck. I should want Merikh to be at his brother’s side, but the selfish, hurting part of me wants him with me at all times.Percy exhales, his hand sliding through his red hair as he nods and he makes a worried face.
Ads by PubFuture “His loss is different from ours.” He says softly. “He has not only lost his mate, but a part of himself. Those scars will not heal. They will be a constant reminder of how he feels he failed her.””I know,” I admit. “But I have never seen someone alive looking so close to death.””Losing a mate is incredibly hard to recover from.” Percy says, “Or so I am told. All I know is Alpha Merikh is the only person to know both yours and Hayes’ pain.”It’s like he can see through me. Like Percy knows exactly what thoughts rival in my head as I look at the ground and struggle with my emotions.”Hayes will need him more,” I whisper, my voice betraying me as it cracks. I clear my throat and roll my shoulders back. sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Find_Nøvel.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.”We can’t know that, not until we see how you both are doing in a few days’ time.” He offers me a reassuring smile.”NO!” Hayes’ voice roars through the hallway, startling me as I jump. Percy takes a small step in front of me as if waiting for an attack, but nothing happens. Hushed angry voices seem to come from the same room as I press my hand to Percy’s forearm, stepping past him and moving to the open door.”I can do that all I fucking want,” Merikh says in a pained tone. His voice is full of sadness. “You aren’t in your right mind.”As I enter the doorway, I witness Hayes, throwing his hands in anger before he turns to the wall and throws his head back in a wrenching scream that pains even my throat.He hammers at the wall, his bandaged hand and other fist breaking holes into the smooth surface, dust dispersing with every strike. He howls out in pain as he drops to his knees, sobbing loudly.”I hate you,” Hayes cries out, pressing his forehead to the fractured wall. “I fucking hate you.”His words silence everything, only this heavy breathing and softer growing sobs able to be heard as Merikh stands behind him, arms at his side lost for words.”I don’t want you to hurt yourself, or worse, kill yourself.” Merikh says, his words sounding distant as if they aren’t really for Hayes but for himself. A reminder of why he is putting his brother through whatever he is going through.”I am already dead.” Hayes whispers as he calms down. “How many times must I tell you? I want to be dead. I deserve to be dead.”My hands slide up the wide collar of the robe and I squeeze both sides together tightly. Merikh walks around to the side of the bed nearest Hayes, and he slumps onto the edge, his shoulders dropping in defeat.I can feel his internal struggle the way he wrestles with doing what he thinks is best and what his brother wants. Merikh has lost a brother, even though he sits here before us, the Hayes we know is gone.”Hayes,” I say, stepping forward, hoping to distract him from his own anger and self hatred. He turns to glance at me, his right eyes red and puffy as he blinks, his other eye bandage over, but I can see the streak where the tears run under it.”You think bringing your mate hereto console me over my dead mate will help?” Hayes says in a dead tone. He glides a glance to his brother. “Would you let me have her for a night if you thought it would help? You don’t want me to die, so léther help me feel alive? ts that what you are doing?” Merikh shoots up in an instant.”Enough!” He roars, the room radiating with his anger and his alpha aura. “You are in pain and mourning, so I will let such a heinous accusation go, Hayes, but if you say something like that again, I will-“”You will what?” he asks with aghost of a smile on his lopsided mouth. His tongue flicks out, wetting his lip, a small wince in his eye before he grins maliciously. “You’ll kill me? In that case, come hop on Colette, take this beta for a test ride-” Merikh reaches down and grabs Hayes by the throat, his hand sliding over the sensitive blister skin. Hayes grunts in pain, but he seems to thrive on it. Then Merikh tosses him on the bed, stepping in front ofme.”You are not the only person who lost someone,” I rush out, grabbing Merikh’s hand, holding him back.”Oh yeah? You seem happy enough.” He hisses, as he rights himself on the bed, groaning in pain, his body shaking from the weight of it.”Some of us deal with grief a little more gracefully.” I tell him with a frown. He glances away, embarrassed, or so I hope. “My parents are gone.””I watched Leandra get tortured to death,” he growls, shooting me a scowl.”And I failed to do what I needed to do to save us all, so my parents stepped in to do it and they died in my place.” I retort.He pauses, his agony filled eyes meeting mine as he slowly nods, a tear racing down his smooth cheek. He lets it fall before he looks away and then back up at me.”Merikh won’t let me die with her,” hesays, his voice breaking. I exhale softly, my head tilting to the side as I move-over to him. “He alpha ordered me not to kill myself or allow myself to get killed. I just got her and now…” Tears sting my eyes as I nod in complete understanding.”Hayes, I know.” I whisper, biting my lip as I sit next to him and take his hand. “I know exactly what you mean.”Tears roll from my cheeks and I feel Hayes’ body shake as he cries as well.”At least yours died for a reason.” He says after a moment of crying. “Leandra… She wasn’t herself. She died and she…” He closes his eye and shakes his head.”What?””Forget it, I just need to be alone,” he says, taking his hand back before he stands and hobbles to the couch.
Ads by PubFuture “Okay.” Merikh replies, sounding defeated. He takes my hand, drawing me up from the bed before he wipes away a tear. We move to the door, Percy already in the hall waiting for us as Merikh pauses.”I am sorry,” Hayes whispers, but he doesn’t look in our direction. “It was wrong to say what I did.””You are forgiven, brother.” Merikh says, his tone is gentle and his eyes on his brother who still shies away from us.”I don’t think I can ever forgive you for this order,” he whispers as we walk out the door. “You are overstepping as an alpha.”Merikh hesitates, his focus falling to the ground as he gives a soft, barely noticeable nod.”I will never ask for forgiveness,” He says back, “I’m acting as a big brother, and using every vessel I can to save my family.””I will send a healer in with a sleep tonic.” I offer to his back. Hayes nods in acceptance and in the silence we make our way back to our room.”Hayes is right, you know. You did misuse your alpha command,” I tell Merikh, though I don’t blame him. In fact, I applaud him for doing it.”And I will do it again if I need to.” He says.”Do you think it will really keep him from doing anything?” I ask.”We can only hope.” He mutters, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose.”Would you do it to me?” I ask him, and he scoffs.”Without a second thought, my love.”
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