Chapter 49
ISABEL
“Thanks so much for coming. I didn’t think you’d come but I’m glad that you did come.” Tim said after I had settled on the seat opposite him.
“It’s no problem,” I said.
“Waiter.” He called for the attention of the waiter.
I wanted to tell him not to that it wasn’t important but I ended up letting him do that. I have made up my mind on what I want and I wouldn’t want to drag the whole thing.
“Welcome sir. Here is the menu. You can take your time with it and let me know when you are ready.” The waiter said.
“Alright,” Tim said, waving the waiter off.
I sighed deeply.
“Are you alright?” Tim asked and I immediately shook my head,
“I’m not hungry so I won’t be placing an order, 1 informed him
“Why?” He doesn’t look happy about it and that was another reason why I have decided to do what I felt was right for me.
“Why? I… alright then. So what do you want to do? Do you want to walk? Do you have any place in mind? We can go there.” He suggested.
“No. That’s not it. Besides I have something to do but I decided to come here because I didn’t want you to think that I was avoiding you.” I replied.
“But weren’t you avoiding me?” He stated.
“L… okay I won’t lie. I was.” I answered.
“I know I have acted out twice and showed you the d ick side of me which I am sincerely sorry about. Look Isabel…” he stretched out his arms to hold mine on the table.
“From the bottom of my heart. I am sorry. I never wished to speak to you that way and I know you might find it ridiculous but I didn’t mean to act that way and everything that happened that night was because I was jealous.”
“I had gone over to see you but ended up seeing you with your baby daddy and it hurts seeing you in his arms. I didn’t know why, I wanted to approach and create a scene but ended up not doing so. I tried to control my anger or I would have just shown myself and fought him.” He sighed.
“I just couldn’t. That day, I told myself to go back and not do anything but I found mauled walking towards you and I ended up doing what I shouldn’t have and for that, I am sorry.”
“I know that we aren’t in a relationship yet and I acted out but I also hope that you saw from my perspective. I would never hurt you, Isabel. I love.” He confessed, taking me by surprise.
My mouth parted in shock and I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly stopped thinking as I stared at him blankly.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to say that now. You can just forget that I said that.” He immediately spoke up and that was when I realized that he said the three words.
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11:15 Fri, May 10 MGM.
Chapter 49
Tim confessed to loving me when we weren’t dating, making things even more complicated for me.
“Please forget you heard me say that. I don’t want to ruin the mood. Let’s change the topic so…”
“Tim,” I called, cutting him off.
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“I forgive you. What you did that day wasn’t fine by me but it’s fine. I get where it was that you came from and so I forgive you and I put it behind me.” I told him, wanting to free him of the guilt he felt.
After hearing his confession, I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk for long because I knew it wouldn’t end well considering I do not see myself with him and I don’t want to be with him because I feel pity for him.
I don’t want to lie to myself either. I don’t want to deceive myself and do what it is I’d regret and considering that Tim wants something deep is another reason for me to end it before it goes further.
“Really? So we are good to go? I’m so relieved.” He heaved a sigh of relief.
“Thanks so much, Isabel. I know I’ve said this before but now I am telling you again that I won’t ever do that again. I won’t hurt you or attack you that way again and it’s not just a word, I mean it.” He sounded firm.
I nodded my head with a smile on my face that barely lasted a second.
“So what do you want to do?” He asked.
I wasn’t sure if I should just tell him now that I wasn’t interested after all it would be better to break his heart now and get it over with or to walk away and not give him that much attention so that he gets the hints himself and decide to stay away.
While I battled with what to do, he kept speaking but I hardly heard him as I was in my world, trying to do what was best.
“Tim,” I called.
I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat before continuing to speak.
“I have something to say.”
“What is it? You can tell me.” He said.
I slowly removed my hand from his, putting them on my lap as prepared to break his heart now before it was to deep.
“I hope all is well?” He asked and I nodded my head.
“I think it’s best that I just tell you now so that you know exactly how I feel,” I stated and I didn’t fail to notice how the glow. in his eyes dulled up and how intense he became.
I also felt a lot of tension as I didn’t know how to say these words to him in a less painful way.
“What do you want to say?” He asked, his voice lower than usual and I could tell he was hurt by his tone but he did a good job masking it.
“I don’t think we can work.” I finally let out the word from my mouth, relieving my chest of the ache and feeling guilty almost immediately.
“What… what do you.. mean?” He stuttered and I guessed it was because of the shock
“I know you weren’t expecting to hear this but I just have to let you know. I don’t think it would be nice lying to myself and also you because it wouldn’t be fair.”
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Chapter 49
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“You are a good guy Tim. You are nice. You helped me. You show up and you are ready to be there for my kids but if he lying to me even if I lied to you perfectly. I don’t think that’s fair to you. I don’t think you deserve it. I don’t think you should go through that and that’s why I’ve decided to come clean and tell you truthfully that I cannot do this.” I told him, letting out a small sigh after speaking.
I watched as he opened his mouth to say something but ended up closing his mouth,
“You deserve someone better Tim. I know that I’m not the one for you because I’d end up hurting you and I know that you don’t deserve it. I don’t want to be with you and be lying to you that I do feel the same for you when I don’t.”
“I never meant to hurt you and I did try to accept but I don’t think it would make sense and so I apologize for making you have those feelings and rejecting you now.” I sincerely apologize
I said my piece and waited for him to say something but he didn’t. I couldn’t tell what was going on from his facial expression.
He opened his mouth to say something but closed it. He opened his mouth again but closed them again and that made me uneasy. I wanted him to say something and the more the longer he said nothing, the more worried I was.
Did I hurt him that bad? I felt so bad.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I asked nervously.
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“Tim…I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. We can be friends if you want but a relationship between us wouldn’t work out and I’m sure you know that too. I don’t want to lie to you. Please understand.” I said, wanting to explain to him more so that he could understand.
I didn’t fail to notice how his breath was uneven and how he tried to keep that is what happens whenever he acts that way but I never saw it
alm. I expected him to suddenly react because
Instead, he took his jacket and got up from his seat. Wore his jacket and walked away, leaving me stunned.
I didn’t know what to say. A voice in my head said I should stand up and go after him but another voice was against it, saying it was for the best and he’d calm down in no time.
I didn’t expect this to happen and honestly, I expected for him to say something or imagined that it would end in a good way but I guess I was wrong.
He wasn’t going to just accept it. I don’t know what to think at this moment.
Was it a good thing or a bad thing that he walked out without saying a word?
“Oh, my goodness. F uck!” I rake my hair with my fingers not sure of how to feel.
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