Strings of Fate
218- Mistreatment and monsters
My first instinct is to argue, to insist that there isn’t anything and that she’s being silly. But somehow I don’t think that will help. I mean, if she told me she was murdering puppies in her free time and that she had a detailed and realistic plan for world domination? Okay, that might give me pause. I probably would send her away to get help or something. I mean, I wouldn’t abandon her, but saying never… that isn’t going to help.
“Okay, well why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you and we can figure it out. I promise to listen and do my best not to judge. Maybe a different perspective will help.” I suggest. Kiara struggles with my words for a minute. I can tell she’s thinking about it and I wait patiently for her to sort through her thoughts. Eventually I see a sad sort of acceptance cross her face and I know she’s made a decision. She takes a deep breath and it comes out shaky.
“The people who died. All the ones the scary ladies killed… it’s my fault.” she whispers the words, like if she says them quietly enough they won’t count. I’m a bit confused.
“We already know they forced you to use your extra magic to identify people who weren’t meant to die. That’s not your fault.” I assure her. Kiara rolls so her back is to me and buries
her face in the blanket.
“That’s not why it’s my fault!” She squeaks out the words. I tug the blanket away to uncover her head and stroke her hair gently. I still can’t see her face.
“Tell me what happened then. Tell me everything that happened. Then I can tell you honestly if I think you did anything wrong.” I instruct her. I say it firmly. I know we’ve been being careful and gentle with her, and I don’t want to change that. But if she is blaming herself for multiple murders… that’s something that we need to sort out. I can’t leave her to deal with that kind of guilt. I already feel awful just for my part in all of this. Kiara is quiet for a minute, then she rolls over towards me and lays her head on my lap with her arms tight around my waist. She clings to me as she begins to speak in a small voice.
“The first time they took me I didn’t know why they wanted me to pick someone. I thought maybe they wanted to study them or they were just testing my magic. My parents always said it was extra special, that no one else can do what I can do and that people might want to take advantage of that. But they already knew, sort of. They thought I could see who people are meant to fall in love with. I told them they were wrong. I didn’t mean to tell them everything.
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but I was confused and I didn’t know what else to do.” Kiara pauses.
“That’s okay sweetie. When people are threatening you it’s usually best to give them what they want. You’re alive so you did well.” I tell her but she shakes her head against my knees.
“It’s not though. Because then when we went to the first lady’s house they made me knock on
the door while they hid. They made me do that every
I always hoped that they wouldn’t answer, that they wouldn’t let me in. But they all did. They were all nice and worried. But as soon as the door was open the scary ladies would go inside and they would do magic and stuff and trap the nice ones.” She admits. I continue to stroke my fingers through her hair. So she feels bad because they used her to get their victims to answer the door? I mean t
that’s
awful, but hardly her fault. Surely that can’t be it. Sure enough, Kiara continues her story.
“I don’t know how they knew. But they knew I’m a Reaper. That daddy is- was one too. They… they told me to use my magic. To… to kill the lady while they kept her trapped with magic. I said no. I said I wouldn’t do it. That they couldn’t make me. The… The Shifter lady was going
to hit me, but the Witch lady stopped her. Said that touching me directly is dangerous. Then
the Witch lady told me that if I didn’t kill the woman that she would and that she would
make it hurt. She said the woman was going to die no matter what, but I could make it quick.
I tried to say no. I didn’t want to. But the Witch lady did a spell and the nice woman started crying and screaming. When she stopped they told me again that I needed to kill her. I
wanted to say no, but the nice lady told me to do it. She said it was okay and that I needed to keep myself safe. She said she would rather die quickly if she had to die. I tried to argue but they were going to keep hurting her and they made me. So I… I did it. And I did it again and
again every time. I tried not to, I tried to argue but they reminded me what they did the first time and I did what I was told. I tried to think of ways to escape but the magic wouldn’t let me. I wished I could make them sleep, or just make my magic stop working. But it did work. Every
time. It’s my fault. I killed them all. It’s my fault! I killed the Witch lady too. No one made me do that. I just knew she was going to hurt all of us, she wanted you to die and I couldn’t let her. So I grabbed her ankle and I killed her. I know it was wrong, it was all wrong. I’m a monster and I’m bad and you shouldn’t be so nice to me. You should send me away where you’ll all be safe from me. You’re nice and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Kiara is bawling into my lap and I take the chance to compose myself. I am FURIOUS. They made KIARA commit the murders? Obviously it’s not her fault. They gave her an impossible choice and of course, being the sweetheart she is, she tried to pick the option that would cause the least pain. I know we already suspected that she killed Jenna Warrens. Dr Dae suggested as much. But it hadn’t occurred to me that they forced her to take part in the
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actual murders! I’m going to have to talk this out with Bellamy because I certainly can’t show Kiara how upset I am right now. I pull her upright so that she can look me in the eye.
your
“Kiara, I need you to listen to me. None of that was your fault. None of it. You are not a monster and you are not a murderer. The mean ladies, they meant what they said. They already killed your parents and they were going to kill those women no matter what you did. You made the right choice to keep yourself safe and to spare them any more pain. The only people responsible for what happened to them are gone now and you will never have to see them again. You said the first woman that died told you it was okay, and she was right. It isn’t fair to you and it isn’t right. You were used, threatened and mistreated and you still did
best to be kind. I know you would never hurt someone unless you had no other choice. The magic you have. People are scared of it, because it’s a pretty powerful and scary ability. But they don’t need to be scared because you are a good person and you would never abuse it. You are the strongest and kindest girl I have ever met. You deserve a family and you do deserve to be loved, even if you don’t feel like it right now. You might not believe me, but I mean it, and I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it and I’ll show you every day.” I
promise as a fresh wave of tears runs down Kiara’s face.
“We all will.” Bellamy comments from the doorway, making me jump. Suddenly I’m crying too
and Bellamy has his arms wrapped around us both as we cry together.
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