Chapter 344
Colin rubbed his temples, exhausted. I felt bad, so I pulled his head into my arms and gave him a head massage, trying to make him feel better.
“The position of the blood clots is just unfortunate. I searched online. Jinovy Hospital has the best neurosurgeons. If they said they can’t do anything about it, no one else can. We can only pray for Felix. There’s no other way.”
“How long will it take for his body to absorb the blood clots?”
“No one knows. It can take a week, a year, or a lifetime.”
“It’s all my fault. What should I do?” I was fraught with worry.
I was afraid of entering the ward just now. When Felix was hospitalized the previous time, it wasn’t my fault yet Aunt Mel had yelled and cursed at me with nasty words.
Now that Felix had lost the function of his eyes and his legs just to save me, I feared that she might do something more radical. I wouldn’t be able to handle that.
While Colin often took my side, he wouldn’t be able to do anything because it concerned his own mother and the well–being of his brother.
I walked into the ward with trepidation. I looked down all the time, afraid of meeting Aunt Mel’s eyes in case she began insulting me again.
To my surprise, Uncle Austin only glanced at me briefly while Aunt Mel stared at Felix impassively. I was ignored.
I was happy that I wasn’t insulted. Yet it also made me feel even more culpable.
Perhaps if they had cussed at me, I would have felt better.
We always wanted the best of both worlds even though it was contradictory.
Because of me, Felix suffered so much. But I couldn’t do anything about it. I could only watch as he became blind and sat in a wheelchair forever.
The guilt overwhelmed me.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m the source of the misfortune. Don’t blame yourself. Take care of yourself now. Don’t make me worry about you. We’ll find a solution eventually.”
“Why does it have to be blood clots? If it were his eyes that were affected, I would’ve gladly
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donated mine to him. I could give him both my eyes now and it still wouldn’t bring back light to his life,”
“Enough of your nonsense.” Colin knocked on my head. “It’s not your fault at all. If there’s nothing else, go home. Helen is waiting for you.”
Colin tried to shoo me away. He didn’t want me to feel guilty and upset because of Felix’s condition.
As always, he wanted to shoulder all the pain and misery himself. He only left me with happiness and joy.
“Alright. You need to rest too, Colin. Don’t overwork yourself.”
“I will. Don’t worry.”
I was beside myself with worry when I left. I couldn’t focus. Everything felt wrong. I had an ominous feeling.
That night, I slept fitfully. One moment, I saw Felix lying on the bed like a doll. The next moment, I saw Colin gazing at me with wistful eyes under the rain.
I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. My body felt exhausted as if I had been working the entire night. My wounded arm also joined the symphony of misery too, twitching in pain from time to time.
I felt suffocated. Something bad was going to happen.
Helen drove me to the airport to pick up my parents. She didn’t return to the apartment last night, so she didn’t know what happened to Felix yet.
I told her everything on our way to the airport. She was worried too, but there was no better solution. She told me that she’d talk to Matthew and see if he could find an international specialist to help out.