Chapter 190
Matthew’s dressing was changed before he was pushed into a ward. The doctor said he had a high fever and needed to be hospitalized for a few days.
He must be seriously ill because after all the medical help, he still hadn’t regained
consciousness.
“Luna, you’re so cruel. He refused to see a doctor when he had a fever back at home. And to
see you, he put his life on the line.” Helen kept sobbing. Her eyes and nose were red from the crying.
I felt so guilty as I looked at the sleeping Matthew. Regardless if I could return his feelings or not, I felt like I had just stepped and spat on his devotion.
I should consider myself lucky to be loved by such a loyal man. Alas, there were too many
things between us. I couldn’t reciprocate his feelings.
“Helen, I’ll go back now. Don’t tell him that I came.” I retrieved my phone from the corner of the bed and gazed at the unconscious Matthew. Then, I steeled my mind and left.
Helen chased after me and cussed at how heartless I was. She said bad karma would
eventually befall me.
Instead of arguing with her, I quickened my pace and fled.
I had a lecture in the afternoon, but I had to skip it because I had to send Matthew to the hospital. When I noticed my mistake, the lecture was already half done. I had no choice but to apply for a leave.
Professor King taught us twice a week. He was unhappy with my absence. I only managed to assuage his disgruntlement after I made repeated promises that I would draw him some artwork for his lecturing purposes.
No other person could boss me around and simultaneously be as strict on me as he.
The rain persisted. The dark clouds made everything look extra stuffy, just like what I was feeling inside. I could neither sleep nor draw, so I hid under my blanket and spaced out with
the raindrops in the background.
I must have been very lucky. Not falling in love with Matthew had spared me the insults and marginalization from high society. Unfortunately for Matthew, he was not one of the lucky ones. He had to experience this rude awakening.
1/2
+15 BONUS
At 4:15 pm, Helen sent me a photo of a conscious Matthew. He looked lifeless and defeated, unlike a young man in his early 20s.
“He was disappointed when he didn’t see you here.”
I thought for a while before typing a simple reply, “He’ll get better.”
I refused to be guilt–tripped into dating him. His family was oppressive enough that I could never live like a decent human being there. Putting aside my feelings for Matthew, my first encounter with his parents told me that dating him would be a tragic mistake.
I was content to have hung out with the younger version of Matthew. I shouldn’t destroy his
life.
If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t tell him that I’d consider it. I would reject him right
away.
My indecision was the source of his suffering. If I had told him that we could never date each. other, none of this would have happened. I caused Matthew pain, even though it wasn’t my intention.
Looking at Matthew’s photo, I felt even more conflicted. Tears came bursting out of my eyes uncontrollably.
I wasn’t sure why I cried either, but I felt like crying. Something heavy was inside my chest, and it was choking me.
The current Matthew was like the 18–year–old me. We were both bruised. We wanted to cry, yet no one could lend us a shoulder to cry on.