Chapter 2 – Zelena part 2
Zelena.
As class continued the presence of the two new boys made me uncomfortable. I squirmed in my seat as their closeness to me began to feel like it was shrinking by the second. Finally, the first morning bell rang, and the students started getting up and walking out the door. Cole and Smith both stood in front of my desk blocking my exit, everyone else had left the room already. Right away I knew this had to mean trouble, and I sunk myself lower into my seat, preparing myself for their incoming attack.
“Do you think me and my friends can sit with you at lunch?” Cole asked peering down at me with his head tilted to the side.
I lifted my head slightly to gauge his facial expression. He doesn’t seem malicious, it didn’t look like he was joking. But I shook my head anyway, I don’t trust them. I don’t trust anyone.
“Well okay, I guess we’ll see you later then” said Cole cheerfully as he turned and headed for the door with Smith on his heels.
“Hey, what’s your name anyway?” Smith called back to me from the front of the class, I lifted my head to look at him, surprised. Both he and Cole were standing by the door looking at me, waiting.
Why would he care what my name is? It’s not like we’re going to be friends or anything, why would boys like that be interested in being friends with a beast like me. I was confused and unsure, was this just another trick, some sort of mind game to gather information? I paused, considering all the thoughts swirling through my head. But I figured they have been nice to me so far. Nicer than anyone else has ever been. What’s the harm in letting them know my name? I got up out of my chair and stood next to my desk, with my head still lowered and my arms crossed in front of my b*dy clutching my books.
“It’s Zelena” I whispered with a croak.
The two boys looked at each other wide eyed. They looked back to me and smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Zelena” said Cole as he nodded his head and walked out the door.
Smith continued to smile as he lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers at me again, then turned and walked out the door after Cole.
Once I was alone, I puffed out a breath that I didn’t realise I was holding. I stood there for a moment, placing my hand on my desk to steady myself. What the heck was that about. My head was pounding and my breath was shaky. I put my other hand to my chest, my heart was thumping hard and fast. I felt dizzy and nauseous. I’m just hungry I thought, I didn’t eat this morning. I rushed off to my next class, zipping through the other kids in the hall. I got to the door and went straight in and to my seat, everyone else was already seated. I put my arms up on the desk and rested my head in my hands and started to daydream about the beautiful man in the hallway.
The lunch bell rang snapping me out of my daze. Once all the other kids had left and the hallway seemed quieter, I headed out of the classroom towards the cafeteria. I walked through the doors and went to grab my tray, thank God for meal vouchers. The rest of the school was already seated at their tables, talking and catching up on the happenings of the weekend. I took my food and slowly made my way to my usual seat by the rubbish bins. I bit into my apple, keeping my head down. The room was full of noise and laughter amongst the few groups of friends.
Demi and her minions sat at the table next to the footballers. Demi was your typical mean girl. She was beautiful and stylish, with long wavy blonde hair that bounced down her back and flawless bright skin. She was the kind of girl that all the guys wanted, and all the girls wanted to be. She would prance down the hall with her short skirts and high heels, as everyone else stepped out of her way. You would never catch me in clothes so short and tight, no one would want to see that anyway.
My little daydream was broken when my orange juice suddenly tipped all over me, spilling down my stomach and over my lap. I looked at my tray and saw that someone had thrown a half-eaten slice of pizza at me. Lifting my head, I saw Demi flick her hair over her shoulder laughing and high fiving her followers. One of the jocks, Brian, was standing on the table pointing at me and laughing.
“What happened Snow White, did someone have an accident?” he laughed as he jumped off the table and onto the back of one of his bros, his face turning red from his laughter.
I felt the eyes of the entire school on me as I sat alone at my table with orange juice dripping onto my legs. I looked down at my clothes and my plate of mushy food. I turned my head to look at the exit and saw at the table by the door was the new boys, Cole and Smith, sitting with the mystery Greek God from the hallway. None of them were laughing. Cole was glaring at Demi with hatred in his eyes. Smith was looking between Demi’s table and his tray of food, furiously stabbing at his plate with his fork. The mystery man was looking at me. A look of deep hurt and sadness covered his face. His gaze followed me as I got up from my table and walked to the exit.
“Bye Bitch” I heard Demi call as I pushed the doors open and walked through. I went to my locker to get my spare clothes. I know now from experience to keep a change of clothes at school, for those times that Demi is feeling extra cruel. I was pulling my jumper out of my bag when I heard a voice.
“Are you okay?” It was that same smooth and velvety voice that I have been daydreaming about all day. It was deep and demanding and left me with a warmness spreading through my chest.
I peered out from behind my locker door. Oh my God, it was him. I took a deep breath and that smell hit me. Hot air on a summer day, delicious. A lump grew in my throat and I thought I might faint. I quickly dropped my head, I didn’t want him to see my horrendous face. I nodded softly. He lifted his hand and placed it over the top of my own, that was gripping the locker door. Feeling terrified, I quickly dropped my hand, sliding it out from under his, slicing my palm open on the corner of the door as I did. I hissed and scrunched my nose at the small pinching pain.
“Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” he quickly spluttered as he took a small step back.
I grabbed my hand and lifted it to my face to investigate the damage.
“Oh shit, your hand” he said as he stepped forward grabbing both my hands in his, forcing me to drop my jumper.
I looked at him with terror at the thought of what he might to do. He must think I’m such an idiot for cutting myself, surely it made him mad too. My eyes wide with anticipation, waiting for my punishment. I froze, my b*dy stiffened, waiting expectedly. He looked at my face and must have seen the terror in my expression. He gently and slowly let go of my hands, a move that surprised me.
“Sorry” he said as he slowly raised his hands in surrender.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you”.
Hurt me? He didn’t mean to hurt me. I did that to myself, it was all my fault, why would he be sorry. I looked at him curiously as I held my hurt hand to my chest.
“Will you let me help you?” he asked me softly, still holding his hands out.
I didn’t understand. I am a monster compared to this beautiful being. Why would he care, why would he want to help me? I nodded again slowly. He held out his hand toward me gesturing for me to take it. I pulled away turning my b*dy away from him. He dropped his hand and looked at me with sadness and confusion. My own confusion was ebbing its way into my brain, why the heck would this boy care anyway?
“That’s okay” he said softly, bending over to pick up my spare jumper.
“Follow me” he turned around and started walking slowly down the hall. He paused and looked back at me to see if I was following. He smiled. A big toothy grin that covered the bottom half of his face. Oh my goodness, that smile. Everything inside me melted. My fear and panic just slipped away. I felt warm and fuzzy inside. I felt safe. I nodded again and closed my locker. I trailed off behind him as he led me to his locker in the next hall. He looked at me again and smiled. I dropped my head letting my hair fall over my face. He opened his locker and pulled out a greyish blue bandanna, holding it up for me to see.
“May I?” he asked, gesturing to my hand that I was still holding up to my chest. I looked down at my hand and looked at the bandanna. I glanced up at his face, he was still smiling. So, I nodded and held out my hand. He slowly placed my jumper over my shoulder and I resisted the urge to flinch at his movements, then he carefully began to wrap his bandanna around the cut on my hand.
If only he knew how insignificant this tiny cut is. If only he knew the thrashings and lashings that I get at home. This small little cut is nothing. I have scars and slashes all over my back and stomach from beatings way worse than this tiny little scratch. If only he knew. But I have never had someone offer to help me before, I’ve never had someone even be remotely nice to me before. Why do I feel so comfortable with his hands on mine? I’ve never liked being touched, though I’ve never had someone touch me so soft and gently, not like this.
He tied the ends of the bandanna together to keep it from coming off. I let my hand rest in the palm of his hand. It looked so tiny sitting there like that. I looked so tiny standing next to him. I’ve always been small framed but that could just come down to being malnourished. I like to think that I’m a little like my mother, but I don’t remember what she looks like, so I wouldn’t know for sure.
I could feel his eyes on me as I stared at our hands together. He gently rubbed this thumb on the back of my hand. It all felt so intimate. My b*dy relaxed and that same warmth I felt before, spread through my arms and legs, I still didn’t completely understand it. Why would anyone that looks like him, care about someone like me.
The surprise of the bell ringing made me jump. I pulled my hand from his and crossed my arms in front of my b*dy. The hallway got louder as people started making their way to their next class.
“Gunner, we gotta go” I heard Cole say behind the big, beautiful man. I glanced around his massive frame and saw both Cole and Smith were standing there. I hadn’t even noticed them there before. Were they there the whole time, did they see my stupid clumsy accident? Oh how embarrassing. The beautiful boy crouched down slightly to be closer to my face and whispered loud enough for me to hear over the noise of the hallway,
“My name’s Gunner” he said. I leant back a little, scared of his sudden closeness to me. He stood up straight again and tilted his head to the side slightly.
“Can I see you after school?”
No. This is just a dream, surely it is. Maybe that beating last night was worse than I thought. Maybe I’m unconscious on the basement floor and this is all just happening in my head. There is no way on earth that this person wants to spend time with me. Not me. No way. I shook my head a little, not looking at his face.
“Hmph” he groaned unmoving,
“I’ll see you later” he said confidently and then he turned and walked away.
I leant back on the locker behind me and tried to catch a breath. As he disappeared from view, I could feel the same lonely darkness creep back into my chest. I quickly changed out my jumpers, put my head down, and shuffled off to my next class.