Chapter 114
FREDA WHITLOCK
I walked to Francisco’s door and my heart kept sinking further and further down my stomach with each step I took that brought me closer to his room. I sighed and forced myself to knock before I would run back to the room like a coward. I could not do that. I really couldn’t do that. I could not be a coward like I usually was. This was about my son and I could not let him go. There was absolutely no way I could do that. I could not run away from this.
“Francisco?” I called and pushed he door open lightly. I let out a sigh and then walked into the room. He was sitting in his bed and staring straight forward at nothing. “Hey,” I called, confused.
He looked at me and the sadness in his eyes broke my heart. “Cisco,” I called, hurrying towards him and hugging him to myself. “What’s wrong?” I asked and he started to cry. My heart. broke to a million pieces. “Oh, sweetheart, please tell me what’s wrong,” I pleaded and he cried even harder.
I held him to myself and let him cry until he was able to talk to
shirt. me. He climbed into my lap and buried his face in my “Mom?” He called in his small voice. “Yes sweetie?” I answered in a whisper, looking down at him..
“I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I was mad and upset, but I made you cry,” he started to cry again and I pressed my lips together, resisting tears of my own. If I cried while he was
crying, it would be a complete disaster. “Oh my baby, it’s okay. It’s really okay,” I said in a shaky voice that showed I was about to cry again. “Are you going to cry again?” He asked, looking up at me with teary eyes.
“No,” I said with a smile, kissing his forehead. “Of course not, my angel.” I said and he nodded. We stayed silent for a few minutes and he hiccuped in my arms. “I’m sorry too,” I finally spoke and he looked up at me from his wet eyelashes. He said nothing and I continued.
“I know you don’t really understand, but I kept your daddy from you because I was trying to protect you,” I said and he looked like he was in thought. “He hurt you,” he said and I could tell that he was thinking back to the conversation we had had in hist bathroom while I was bathing him.
“Yes,” I whispered and my voice broke as tears filled my eyes again. I looked away from him, taking deep breaths to keep my tears down. “I didn’t want him to take you away from me,” I could not hold back my tears and I started sobbing. I was both ashamed of myself and disappointed in my inability to control my tears and emotions, especially in front of my child.
He got on his knees and hugged me. He held me tight and ran his little hands through my hair, offering all of the comfort that he could give. “No one is taking me from you, mommy. Not even daddy. I want to meet him and I wanted to know him but you’re my mommy. You’ve always been my mommy,” he said, cradling my cheeks and looking in my teary eyes.
I felt blood rush to my face with the emotions that were swirling within me along the with embarrassment. This was going to be the first and last time he was ever going to see me cry so
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openly. “Okay,” I said and nodded. He smiled at me and kissed
both of my cheeks before pecking my lip. We both giggled and I lifted him up and cradled him to my chest as I stood to my feet.
“Come on now, let’s get you ready for the party,” I said. He did not seem as excited as he had been about the party in the other days, but I assumed it was because of the mood we had both been in. We were both still reeling from the outpouring of our pain and emotions and if it was affecting me this much, I could not imagine how it was for him.
I set him in the island and smiled at him. I started to run him a bath. While I did that, he brushed his teeth. Once the water was the right temperature, I moved him into the bathtub.
Twenty minutes later, he was out of the bath and in his small towelling robe. He left the bathroom quietly, too quietly for the bubbly kid he was. I stayed back and pulled out the plug. The water ran down the drain.
When I walked out into his room, he was lying in bed. “Francisco…” I called, now surprised and worried. “I… I don’t want to go,” he said in a small voice, looking at me with big eyes. “Why?” I asked, sitting at his feet. “I…” He gulped and I hated that he seemed afraid of making a request from me. “I want my daddy to be there…” He said and my heart sank.
Chapter 116