Recovery
I got home and fell asleep. Too tired to stay a
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I got home and fell asleep. Too tired to stay awake long. I woke up with Diesel checking on me and telling me to sleep as much as I could to help me recover. I didn’t have a choice, I fell asleep quickly.
Waking again I feel Jasper with his arm around me. Turning I look at him and he smiles at me. I can see in his eyes he’s not planning on sleeping.
“You need to sleep, daddy.” He can’t stay awake.
“I will baby girl…” My hand covers his mouth stopping him from speaking.
“No, you will tonight. None of this ‘I will once I know you’re fine’ or ‘once I know you’re safe’. Thank you for protecting us, but we’re safe Hayley only got in because of the van. We’re safe, we’re looked after now you need looking after.” Moving my hand I kiss him.
“It’s not that easy baby girl.”
I laugh and nod. “I know Daddy, you feel like you should be protecting us and on guard. Answer me this though, is my dad sleeping downstairs in the small bedroom? Is Diesel sleeping in the living room and I’m guessing a few members of the club are taking shifts in patrolling outside?”
He chuckles and nods.
“Exactly, so take my dad’s hint and go to sleep. When Damiana wakes fine, you can move to help because I can’t walk great, but other than that, you close your eyes and sleep.”
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“Is this you giving me orders baby girl? I can’t remember when we agreed to switch the roles.” His eyes are full of humour. “Plus, Damiana is with your mum in another room. Your dad insisted she watches her tonight so I sleep.” He laughs and I nod.
“I wasn’t changing roles daddy, I’m still your bratty submissive, I just wanted to ensure you’re looked after.” I snuggle into him. Looking up. at him I smile.
“Don’t smile like that baby girl.” His grin widens.
“I wasn’t going to be a brat, Daddy, just wanted to say I love you.” He freezes slightly and stares at me shocked and I laugh now. “No, I am not trying to trick you or get anything. I just realised I hadn’t really said it, just after sex maybe. Looking back at times I might not have shown that I do, but I do love you.”
sure
He smiles and pulls me closer. “Baby girl, I knew you loved me. I could see it, but I was willing to wait for you to feel safe saying it. After Joel, I knew it wouldn’t be quick, because you associate love with pain, manipulation and everything else.” He leans down pressing his lips against mine. “I’m just annoyed you said it now when I can’t fuck you.” I laugh and cuddle into him.
“Sleep Daddy, you need sleep because we have a lot to plan, a wedding, a holiday, a new baby.” I feel him stiffen and laugh.
“You’re fucking lucky you’re recovering baby girl, that’s a punishment for when you can take it.” I look up at him through my lashes and bite. my lip. “Turn, now, you’re been a brat, so turn, and behave or I don’t sleep.” His eyes stay on mine.
“I will make you a deal Daddy, I won’t turn but will behave. Then we both sleep. We both know if I turn the temptation to push my ass against you will be too much to avoid.” His hands pull me closer and I
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fall asleep in his arms again.
Waking, I carefully climb from the bed, trying not to wake Jasper. Getting dressed I hobble downstairs, as I reach the bottom a hand
grasps me.
“You shouldn’t be going up and down the stairs alone. Your ankle needs to heal.” Well, he is really going to hate me now.
“Dad, I’m fine. I’m going to make breakfast.” His eyes widen. “For me and Jasper. Just let me.” I don’t want to argue and I am done with having everyone help me and look after me, especially Jasper. He sighs and nods.
“After Diesel checks you over, so come give Damiana some cuddles. then I will try and not stop you from cooking.” Nodding, I go to walk off and he stops me again, holding out the crutches. I roll my eyes but take them so he doesn’t complain.
Going through I sit down and my mum passes Damiana to me. I have barely held her since everything. “I’m taking her up with me once I cook.”
“Princess, how about this? You cook and go see Jasper, when you two come down, we leave and you, Jasper and Damiana have the whole day together alone. Let Jasper have you to himself this morning, leave her
down here.”
Nodding I give in watching as Diesel does the usual checks. I will have a new scar on my leg and side from where she stabbed me. I had a lot of scratches, but those ones didn’t need stitches. There’s a good chance I will have a scar on my forehead from where she hit me.
Shaking my head I try not to dwell on it. After being checked I feed Damiana then cook breakfast with my dad watching me. I want to
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complain but after he shouted and told me he wasn’t about to leave me cooking while I could hardly stand on my foot I gave in and left him watching.
Getting the food on the plates my dad stands smiling smugly. I didn’t think this part through. I know I can manage to walk from the door to the bed without crutches, but up the stairs as well and holding plates? I don’t think I’m that good..
“Fine, I need help please.” He laughs and steps forward.
“That princess, is the first official time you asked for help, just so you realise.”
I shake my head. “No, it isn’t,” I asked for help before, haven’t I? I stand and think, but I can’t remember ever asking for help. I refuse it, argue and say I don’t need help. Argue for things to be left or forgotten.
“It’s a step princess, might just be asking me to carry the plates up but it’s a step.” He carries them up for me as I get into the bedroom I take them from him and watch him leave. Hobbling to the bed, I place the plates on the side and lean over kissing Jasper.
I watch as he wakes, and already he looks so much better.
“I cooked daddy.” I watch as he laughs.
“How did you manage that baby girl, I don’t think your dad would let you cook with your ankle like it is.” He doesn’t believe me.
“I just told him. So, food, talk and then we will have today together.” I watch as he sits up and I hand him the plate. His eyes watching me and I can see he is suspicious. “Before you think I am tricking you Daddy, I’ m not. You have done everything for me, even before the mess. I don’t need taking care of, not in this way.”
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He smiles and kisses my cheek. Sitting we eat, and he talks about work, but I need to change the topic.
“The wedding daddy. If you’re not happy having it at the club, I will agree to change the location.” It’s his wedding as well.
“Baby girl, I don’t care if we get married in a carpark. I just wanted you to have a real wedding. One you deserve.”
“My real wedding daddy is somewhere with memories. I don’t want a big luxury princess castle, that I won’t see again except for once in a while on special occasions. I want it at a place where I visit often and I’ m reminded of our day. A place that is home, not unknown.”
“Then we can do it at the club baby girl. I agree, having the wedding somewhere we know, and connect to is better. I just didn’t want you to give up on the princess wedding you always wanted growing up.”
I look at him confused and he laughs.
“Baby girl. I was there as you grew up. Hell, I watched you so often for your dad, I watched your face light up at films with the big elaborate. weddings. I remember you and Daniel as well.” He smirks and I laugh.
“Oh don’t…”
“I have to baby girl. You may have been young when he proposed to you. You agreed, to be fair the engagement lasted all of twenty minutes. as you were not happy with his ideas of a perfect wedding.” He laughs and I groan. I hate that he knows so much about it.
“One, I was as you said, young, like seven young. Two, he tried saying a mud pie would be our wedding cake.” What else was I meant to do?
“You liked mud baby girl, I remember. I also remember you terrorising
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him with worms.”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember that daddy.” I will just play dumb.
“You do. You were constantly helping me and your dad with the bikes even at that age. Ivy sat in the house with her little tea parties while you were happy getting dirty. As for the worms, you terrorised the poor boy.” He looks at me laughing and I continue to shake my head. “You broke his heart, called off the wedding, called his idea disgusting, and said if he liked mud cakes so much, he could have the worms for extra flavour then chased him around the garden with them. I remember because your dad had left me with you, and I had to call him mum and explain why he was so heartbroken.”
“Fine!” I quit. He laughs looking at me. “So I was wild even as a seven- year-old and outspoken.” He laughs and cuddles me.
“The point is baby girl, whatever wedding you want, you can have. Just, don’t downplay it through fear of what we think, or what I want.”
“I won’t, but I do want to set a date. It’s at the club that makes a easier.” I look at him..
“Are you sure you want to set a date? You kept putting it off.”
“I’m sure. Actually, how about valentines?” He stares at me and counts on his fingers.
“Baby girl, no, not a fucking chance.” I nod, and a feeling of hurt builds within me. “Don’t look like that. Let me explain please.” He grips my chin so I look at him. “I would fucking love to marry you
tomor I could. The fact is, your foot needs to heal. Your stab
wounds as well. If I agreed baby girl, the whole wedding would be different, the wedding night as well because you won’t have fully healed. I will sacrifice everything that I want for the wedding baby girl,
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but this I am sticking to. Give it at least two months, I want you healed. for our wedding. I want to be able to enjoy it fully without the worry you will hurt yourself.”
“Really?” I pout slightly.
“Okay, look at it this way baby girl. We do it when you want, you can barely dance for our first dance. You will struggle to stand through the actual wedding. Then let’s not forward at night, I won’t be able to fuck you in the way I want baby girl. Everything will be calm, and vanilla. You wait until you are healed, you have no issues standing through the wedding, or during the dance. Then after I get you in that room all night, screaming.”
I laugh nodding. “Fine, so, wedding planning. You can help, but I have a request, Daddy.” He won’t like it and neither will my dad but it has to happen.
“Anything baby girl.”
“From now on, two days a week, after 6 pm, no work and no club if less it’s for fun. Before you managed fine, but now, you are constantly trying to look after me and Damiana. So, make my dad aware that those two nights a week he deals with the club alone. Those nights are our time. They are nights where you relax, without trying to do things. for everyone else.”
His head tilts. He’s going to fight it. “That night of the event. Before you even drank you looked exhausted Daddy. You want to care for us fine, you want to help everyone, fine. Just how much help will you be if you’re run down and too exhausted to remember small things that make a big difference?” He could sign a contract and not notice one small thing. I don’t want that to happen.
“Small things? What is that meant to mean? Why not just fucking say
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what you’re really thinking Harley?” I stare at him shocked by his outburst. I don’t answer, just sit confused, as he moves and gets dressed. “Why skirt around the issue, just fucking say it as you think it. Like I don’t have enough guilt already, I know things are fucked up because of me!”
Eh?
I sit confused. I repeat what I said back to myself still confused as hell. Getting out of bed I walk through and shout after him. I feel like I missed something or rather a lot. I trip slightly and a hand catches me.
“What were you told, princess?” My dad looks at me annoyed.
“I know, but Jasper stormed off, where is he?” I look around confused.
“Gone.” I turn to Diesel confused. “He got on his bike and left, give him space.”
I shake my head. “No, because I don’t even know what I did wrong. What did I say so fucking wrong?” Diesel looks at me like I should know. “You know what, forget it, can you all leave.”
“Princess.” My dad looks at me shocked.
“No Dad. Just leave, especially if you’re going to stand there and defend him when I have no fucking idea what I did wrong and he just
left!”
“No one is defending him. We will go, if I see Jasper I will send him. back.” My dad grabs his jacket and I watch Diesel leave.
“Don’t send him back, it’s his choice.” I walk through and sit with Damiana. It isn’t even like I could go after Jasper, I can’t drive or use the bike which he knows.” I spend the day with Damiana, getting her in bed I sit alone and wait. A short while later I give up and go to bed.
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I had messaged Jasper but he didn’t reply, and I’m still in the dark over what happened. I thought trying to make him have a couple of nights off would be good, but maybe he doesn’t want to be home more. I wake up hearing a crash, jumping up I stand by the door and listen.
“You’re drunk Jasper, where have you been?” I hear my dad and relax, moving I walk downstairs, stopping at the kitchen door I see my dad sitting with Jasper. Drunk isn’t the word, he’s way past drunk.
“Princess don’t shout at him.” My dad looks at me. I wasn’t going to but I will get answers.
“You can go, dad.” I hug him and smile, his eyes glancing between us. “I promise not to let him leave.” Not that I could stop him if he wanted to. Nodding, my dad stands and leaves, moving I sit opposite Jasper. His eyes stay fixed on the floor.
“I don’t know what happened, Jasper. All I know is I asked you to try and make sure you have no commitments two nights a week so you can be home with me and Damiana without getting a call to rush to the club. I get it though, you’re used to the freedom, and you don’t want that restriction, so just say. I won’t hate you for not wanting to be at home, Jasper.”
He looks up at me shocked.
“Of course, I want to be here more baby girl. If I could say no work, or club every day after six, I fucking would.”
“Then what did I say so bad to make you walk out and ignore me all day Jasper?”
“Look, I heard what I wanted to hear and for that I am sorry. I spoke to your dad and he made me realise you didn’t say what I heard. You mentioned being so tired I would forget small things that make a big
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difference, and I took it in the wrong way.”
I nod, still not sure what he means. “When I said it, I had the thought of you signing a contract and not fully understanding something because you were tired, what the hell did you think I meant?” I watch the guilt flood his face.
“It was my fault Hayley got in.” I stare shocked. “Don’t look at me like that baby girl. I said I would check the van before it left, and forgot. Even here I didn’t remember to check it. That night I forgot to lock the garage, had I have she wouldn’t have gotten in.”
“No, it isn’t your fault. We were all in and out of that van, loading and unpacking it. Anyone of us could have checked. As for the door unlocked, that isn’t your fault, there shouldn’t have been the risk if it was left unlocked.” Moving I climb into his lap and face him. “I had no idea you blamed yourself.” His arms wrap around my body and his head rests against my shoulder.
“I’m sorry baby girl, I should have told you and your dad and Diesel told me I should have. I just ignored them. Then you mentioned being tired and everything else and I heard it in a way that was you blaming me.”
I grasp his face so he looks at me.
“You have protected and saved us so many times. You made two mistakes, two. You can’t always get everything perfect, Daddy, and we will both make mistakes. Those mistakes are part of us, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for them.”
“I’m sorry for ruining today, baby girl.” His words are quiet and I laugh.
“Don’t feel guilty for that either Daddy. Now, I think you need to get in bed and sleep off the alcohol.” I won’t shout at him he already feels bad
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enough.
“I need to clean up first baby girl.” I look at the floor and laugh.
“No, you need to sleep. Don’t argue, get to bed I will sort it then come join you.” He doesn’t argue, instead, he kisses me before lifting me from him and walks out. Walking to the cupboard I take out the brush.
“I will do it, princess.” Stopping, I turn and look at my dad confused. “I couldn’t just leave, I needed to make sure he told you because had he not I was coming in and telling you. So, I will clean up his mess, you get to bed as he is still feeling guilty.
Η
“You would have told me?” I thought he would have kept it from me.
“Princess, you’re my daughter, he is my best friend. I would struggle, because I would never have done it before. This was a time I was ready to put you before our friendship because he was hurting you.”
“He wasn’t hurting me.” I stand shocked and he laughs.
“He was, baby girl. I saw the hurt when Diesel said he left. Go to bed, talk more about it tomorrow, I will clean this.” I don’t argue as he has a look that says he will shout at me if I do. Instead, I go to bed and cuddle Jasper. He’s asleep, so that is a good thing.
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wake long. I woke up with Diesel checking on me and telling me to sleep as much as I could to help me recover. I didn’t have a choice, I fell asleep quickly.
Waking again I feel Jasper with his arm around me. Turning I look at him and he smiles at me. I can see in his eyes he’s not planning on sleeping.
“You need to sleep, daddy.” He can’t stay awake.
“I will baby girl…” My hand covers his mouth stopping him from speaking.
“No, you will tonight. None of this ‘I will once I know you’re fine‘ or ‘once I know you’re safe‘. Thank you for protecting us, but we’re safe Hayley only got in because of the van. We’re safe, we’re looked after now you need looking after.” Moving my hand I kiss him.
“It’s not that easy baby girl.”
I laugh and nod. “I know Daddy, you feel like you should be protecting us and on guard. Answer me this though, is my dad sleeping downstairs in the small bedroom? Is Diesel sleeping in the living room and I’m guessing a few members of the club are taking shifts in patrolling outside?”
He chuckles and nods.
“Exactly, so take my dad’s hint and go to sleep. When Damiana wakes fine, you can move to help because I can’t walk great, but other than that, you close your eyes and sleep.”
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“Is this you giving me orders baby girl? I can’t remember when we agreed to switch the roles.” His eyes are full of humour. “Plus, Damiana is with your mum in another room. Your dad insisted she watches her tonight so I sleep.” He laughs and I nod.
“I wasn’t changing roles daddy, I’m still your bratty submissive, I just wanted to ensure you’re looked after.” I snuggle into him. Looking up. at him I smile.
“Don’t smile like that baby girl.” His grin widens.
“I wasn’t going to be a brat, Daddy, just wanted to say I love you.” He freezes slightly and stares at me shocked and I laugh now. “No, I am not trying to trick you or get anything. I just realised I hadn’t really said it, just after sex maybe. Looking back at times I might not have shown that I do, but I do love you.”
sure
He smiles and pulls me closer. “Baby girl, I knew you loved me. I could see it, but I was willing to wait for you to feel safe saying it. After Joel, I knew it wouldn’t be quick, because you associate love with pain, manipulation and everything else.” He leans down pressing his lips against mine. “I’m just annoyed you said it now when I can’t fuck you.” I laugh and cuddle into him.
“Sleep Daddy, you need sleep because we have a lot to plan, a wedding, a holiday, a new baby.” I feel him stiffen and laugh.
“You’re fucking lucky you’re recovering baby girl, that’s a punishment for when you can take it.” I look up at him through my lashes and bite. my lip. “Turn, now, you’re been a brat, so turn, and behave or I don’t sleep.” His eyes stay on mine.
“I will make you a deal Daddy, I won’t turn but will behave. Then we both sleep. We both know if I turn the temptation to push my ass against you will be too much to avoid.” His hands pull me closer and I
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fall asleep in his arms again.
Waking, I carefully climb from the bed, trying not to wake Jasper. Getting dressed I hobble downstairs, as I reach the bottom a hand
grasps me.
“You shouldn’t be going up and down the stairs alone. Your ankle needs to heal.” Well, he is really going to hate me now.
“Dad, I’m fine. I’m going to make breakfast.” His eyes widen. “For me and Jasper. Just let me.” I don’t want to argue and I am done with having everyone help me and look after me, especially Jasper. He sighs and nods.
“After Diesel checks you over, so come give Damiana some cuddles. then I will try and not stop you from cooking.” Nodding, I go to walk off and he stops me again, holding out the crutches. I roll my eyes but take them so he doesn’t complain.
Going through I sit down and my mum passes Damiana to me. I have barely held her since everything. “I’m taking her up with me once I cook.”
“Princess, how about this? You cook and go see Jasper, when you two come down, we leave and you, Jasper and Damiana have the whole day together alone. Let Jasper have you to himself this morning, leave her
down here.”
Nodding I give in watching as Diesel does the usual checks. I will have a new scar on my leg and side from where she stabbed me. I had a lot of scratches, but those ones didn’t need stitches. There’s a good chance I will have a scar on my forehead from where she hit me.
Shaking my head I try not to dwell on it. After being checked I feed Damiana then cook breakfast with my dad watching me. I want to
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complain but after he shouted and told me he wasn’t about to leave me cooking while I could hardly stand on my foot I gave in and left him watching.
Getting the food on the plates my dad stands smiling smugly. I didn’t think this part through. I know I can manage to walk from the door to the bed without crutches, but up the stairs as well and holding plates? I don’t think I’m that good..
“Fine, I need help please.” He laughs and steps forward.
“That princess, is the first official time you asked for help, just so you realise.”
I shake my head. “No, it isn’t,” I asked for help before, haven’t I? I stand and think, but I can’t remember ever asking for help. I refuse it, argue and say I don’t need help. Argue for things to be left or forgotten.
“It’s a step princess, might just be asking me to carry the plates up but it’s a step.” He carries them up for me as I get into the bedroom I take them from him and watch him leave. Hobbling to the bed, I place the plates on the side and lean over kissing Jasper.
I watch as he wakes, and already he looks so much better.
“I cooked daddy.” I watch as he laughs.
“How did you manage that baby girl, I don’t think your dad would let you cook with your ankle like it is.” He doesn’t believe me.
“I just told him. So, food, talk and then we will have today together.” I watch as he sits up and I hand him the plate. His eyes watching me and I can see he is suspicious. “Before you think I am tricking you Daddy, I‘ m not. You have done everything for me, even before the mess. I don’t need taking care of, not in this way.”
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He smiles and kisses my cheek. Sitting we eat, and he talks about work, but I need to change the topic.
“The wedding daddy. If you’re not happy having it at the club, I will agree to change the location.” It’s his wedding as well.
“Baby girl, I don’t care if we get married in a carpark. I just wanted you to have a real wedding. One you deserve.”
“My real wedding daddy is somewhere with memories. I don’t want a big luxury princess castle, that I won’t see again except for once in a while on special occasions. I want it at a place where I visit often and I‘ m reminded of our day. A place that is home, not unknown.”
“Then we can do it at the club baby girl. I agree, having the wedding somewhere we know, and connect to is better. I just didn’t want you to give up on the princess wedding you always wanted growing up.”
I look at him confused and he laughs.
“Baby girl. I was there as you grew up. Hell, I watched you so often for your dad, I watched your face light up at films with the big elaborate. weddings. I remember you and Daniel as well.” He smirks and I laugh.
“Oh don’t…”
“I have to baby girl. You may have been young when he proposed to you. You agreed, to be fair the engagement lasted all of twenty minutes. as you were not happy with his ideas of a perfect wedding.” He laughs and I groan. I hate that he knows so much about it.
“One, I was as you said, young, like seven young. Two, he tried saying a mud pie would be our wedding cake.” What else was I meant to do?
“You liked mud baby girl, I remember. I also remember you terrorising
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him with worms.”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember that daddy.” I will just play dumb.
“You do. You were constantly helping me and your dad with the bikes even at that age. Ivy sat in the house with her little tea parties while you were happy getting dirty. As for the worms, you terrorised the poor boy.” He looks at me laughing and I continue to shake my head. “You broke his heart, called off the wedding, called his idea disgusting, and said if he liked mud cakes so much, he could have the worms for extra flavour then chased him around the garden with them. I remember because your dad had left me with you, and I had to call him mum and explain why he was so heartbroken.”
“Fine!” I quit. He laughs looking at me. “So I was wild even as a seven- year–old and outspoken.” He laughs and cuddles me.
“The point is baby girl, whatever wedding you want, you can have. Just, don’t downplay it through fear of what we think, or what I want.”
“I won’t, but I do want to set a date. It’s at the club that makes a easier.” I look at him..
“Are you sure you want to set a date? You kept putting it off.”
“I’m sure. Actually, how about valentines?” He stares at me and counts on his fingers.
“Baby girl, no, not a fucking chance.” I nod, and a feeling of hurt builds within me. “Don’t look like that. Let me explain please.” He grips my chin so I look at him. “I would fucking love to marry you
tomor I could. The fact is, your foot needs to heal. Your stab
wounds as well. If I agreed baby girl, the whole wedding would be different, the wedding night as well because you won’t have fully healed. I will sacrifice everything that I want for the wedding baby girl,
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but this I am sticking to. Give it at least two months, I want you healed. for our wedding. I want to be able to enjoy it fully without the worry you will hurt yourself.”
“Really?” I pout slightly.
“Okay, look at it this way baby girl. We do it when you want, you can barely dance for our first dance. You will struggle to stand through the actual wedding. Then let’s not forward at night, I won’t be able to fuck you in the way I want baby girl. Everything will be calm, and vanilla. You wait until you are healed, you have no issues standing through the wedding, or during the dance. Then after I get you in that room all night, screaming.”
I laugh nodding. “Fine, so, wedding planning. You can help, but I have a request, Daddy.” He won’t like it and neither will my dad but it has to happen.
“Anything baby girl.”
“From now on, two days a week, after 6 pm, no work and no club if less it’s for fun. Before you managed fine, but now, you are constantly trying to look after me and Damiana. So, make my dad aware that those two nights a week he deals with the club alone. Those nights are our time. They are nights where you relax, without trying to do things. for everyone else.”
His head tilts. He’s going to fight it. “That night of the event. Before you even drank you looked exhausted Daddy. You want to care for us fine, you want to help everyone, fine. Just how much help will you be if you’re run down and too exhausted to remember small things that make a big difference?” He could sign a contract and not notice one small thing. I don’t want that to happen.
“Small things? What is that meant to mean? Why not just fucking say
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what you’re really thinking Harley?” I stare at him shocked by his outburst. I don’t answer, just sit confused, as he moves and gets dressed. “Why skirt around the issue, just fucking say it as you think it. Like I don’t have enough guilt already, I know things are fucked up because of me!”
Eh?
I sit confused. I repeat what I said back to myself still confused as hell. Getting out of bed I walk through and shout after him. I feel like I missed something or rather a lot. I trip slightly and a hand catches me.
“What were you told, princess?” My dad looks at me annoyed.
“I know, but Jasper stormed off, where is he?” I look around confused.
“Gone.” I turn to Diesel confused. “He got on his bike and left, give him space.”
I shake my head. “No, because I don’t even know what I did wrong. What did I say so fucking wrong?” Diesel looks at me like I should know. “You know what, forget it, can you all leave.”
“Princess.” My dad looks at me shocked.
“No Dad. Just leave, especially if you’re going to stand there and defend him when I have no fucking idea what I did wrong and he just
left!”
“No one is defending him. We will go, if I see Jasper I will send him. back.” My dad grabs his jacket and I watch Diesel leave.
“Don’t send him back, it’s his choice.” I walk through and sit with Damiana. It isn’t even like I could go after Jasper, I can’t drive or use the bike which he knows.” I spend the day with Damiana, getting her in bed I sit alone and wait. A short while later I give up and go to bed.
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I had messaged Jasper but he didn’t reply, and I’m still in the dark over what happened. I thought trying to make him have a couple of nights off would be good, but maybe he doesn’t want to be home more. I wake up hearing a crash, jumping up I stand by the door and listen.
“You’re drunk Jasper, where have you been?” I hear my dad and relax, moving I walk downstairs, stopping at the kitchen door I see my dad sitting with Jasper. Drunk isn’t the word, he’s way past drunk.
“Princess don’t shout at him.” My dad looks at me. I wasn’t going to but I will get answers.
“You can go, dad.” I hug him and smile, his eyes glancing between us. “I promise not to let him leave.” Not that I could stop him if he wanted to. Nodding, my dad stands and leaves, moving I sit opposite Jasper. His eyes stay fixed on the floor.
“I don’t know what happened, Jasper. All I know is I asked you to try and make sure you have no commitments two nights a week so you can be home with me and Damiana without getting a call to rush to the club. I get it though, you’re used to the freedom, and you don’t want that restriction, so just say. I won’t hate you for not wanting to be at home, Jasper.”
He looks up at me shocked.
“Of course, I want to be here more baby girl. If I could say no work, or club every day after six, I fucking would.”
“Then what did I say so bad to make you walk out and ignore me all day Jasper?”
“Look, I heard what I wanted to hear and for that I am sorry. I spoke to your dad and he made me realise you didn’t say what I heard. You mentioned being so tired I would forget small things that make a big
Recovery
difference, and I took it in the wrong way.”
I nod, still not sure what he means. “When I said it, I had the thought of you signing a contract and not fully understanding something because you were tired, what the hell did you think I meant?” I watch the guilt flood his face.
“It was my fault Hayley got in.” I stare shocked. “Don’t look at me like that baby girl. I said I would check the van before it left, and forgot. Even here I didn’t remember to check it. That night I forgot to lock the garage, had I have she wouldn’t have gotten in.”
“No, it isn’t your fault. We were all in and out of that van, loading and unpacking it. Anyone of us could have checked. As for the door unlocked, that isn’t your fault, there shouldn’t have been the risk if it was left unlocked.” Moving I climb into his lap and face him. “I had no idea you blamed yourself.” His arms wrap around my body and his head rests against my shoulder.
“I’m sorry baby girl, I should have told you and your dad and Diesel told me I should have. I just ignored them. Then you mentioned being tired and everything else and I heard it in a way that was you blaming me.”
I grasp his face so he looks at me.
“You have protected and saved us so many times. You made two mistakes, two. You can’t always get everything perfect, Daddy, and we will both make mistakes. Those mistakes are part of us, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for them.”
“I’m sorry for ruining today, baby girl.” His words are quiet and I laugh.
“Don’t feel guilty for that either Daddy. Now, I think you n