Losing It
Jasper POV:
I stop the bike outside of the house and consider my approach. Right now I feel like forcing my way in and calling her fucking crazy. Getting off the bike I walk to the door and knock, a moment later it opens and I watch as she steps away from the door.
she
Sitting in the far end of the room keeps both arms wrapped around Damiana.
“Lock the door and put the key up there and then sit.” She points to the sideboard, nodding I do as she says. Placing the key down I go towards her and she backs up more. “Don’t come near us, Jasper!”
I look at her, okay so she has lost it. I was hoping I could walk in and just grab her and leave.
“I just want to see that she is okay. I can’t see her.” I watch as she shifts slightly so I can see Damiana asleep in her arms.
“We need to talk Jasper. You can’t keep running from us.”
Sighing I sit down. “I’m not running, I’m right here.” I don’t get what she wants. Surely she can see the baby isn’t hers?
“Now you are! You have been running from me for years Jasper. Then, you just stay away and hide our daughter from me!” Her words are quiet and I fight back the laugh and stop myself from calling her fucking crazy.
For an hour I watch her. I listen to her words and realise she really thinks Damiana is her baby.
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I now realise this won’t be quick, I thought it wouldn’t be hard to get her, but she really believes she’s her mum. Taking out my phone I type
a message.
2 our
Damiana is fine, she is asleep. I promise to baby girl home. If you message or call, make it sound like I left so she thinks she is safe.
I’m hoping then if she grabs my phone she doesn’t see any messages saying I need to get her back. Delete the message I look at her.
“We need to eat Hayley.” Maybe if we eat she will drop her guard.
“Well then you can cook, I am not putting her down Jasper! You’re trying to trick me so that you can take her again. I waited weeks Jasper and you never brought her home.” Standing I nod at her. Considering the next words I should say.
“I will cook, that wasn’t me trying to get you to. I know you will want to hold her, you can hold her for as long as you want, I’ve had her to myself essentially since she was born.” I walk into the kitchen and begin to cook.
I want to just grab her from Hayley’s arms, but the risk she will get hurt is too much. So, I will play along, surely tonight she will put her down to sleep?
“Can you make Hope a bottle please, her things are in there.” Hope? I shake my head and ignore her, making the bottle I carry it through, and her hand goes up. “Put it on the table and move away.”
“Hayley, you need to trust me at some point.” I place it on the table, not arguing and go back to the kitchen and cook. I left my phone in there so she thinks I’m not hiding anything. I just hope that Harley doesn’t send anything that makes her suspicious.
As I finish cooking I hear her moving. Maybe now she has put her
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down? I don’t move to check, instead. I put food on plates and carry
them through. I place hers on the table and I sit on the small armchair. I am far enough away for her to feel safe.
I watch as she eats one–handed while holding Damiana.
“Your phone keeps vibrating.” She looks at me waiting. Do I look at it? Deciding to I pick it up seeing the missed calls from both of them. “Why are they calling? Surely they know you left?”
“I assumed they knew. You know what he’s like Hayley, that’s his baby girl so he won’t stop calling and shouting.” She knows Rooster. I hope she realises anyway that he would never just let me walk.
“You need to make her aware you’re not going back, Jasper! You have this thing for letting women stand waiting and thinking they have a chance when they never did.”
“I will eat and call and make it known, don’t worry. I told them I wouldn’t be back, I am just guessing this is Rooster kicking off because I hurt her.” I don’t want to hurt Harley, but I may need to just so Hayley believes me. Sitting I eat, and go and wash up. I purposely slid my phone into my pocket during the conversation.
Drying my hands I hit the messages.
I am going to call. There’s a chance she will make me put it on speakerphone. Just play along baby girl, I don’t want to pull Damiana out of her hands and her get hurt, she’s too small. So play along so she thinks I have left, which I never will baby girl.
I delete the message and watch as she replies with a quick ‘K‘. Putting it in my pocket I walk through and sit down. Sliding the phone from my pocket I leave it on the chair before standing. “I will wash her bottle.” Taking it I walk to the kitchen, quickly washing it and walking
Losing It
back through.
I sit and see her holding my phone.
“Make her aware Jasper.” Nodding I take the phone and hit the
number. “Speakerphone.” She looks at me annoyed and I hit the button. just as she answers.
“Jasper?” I feel my heart breaking, she sounds destroyed. “Jasper please!”
“Harley, you were meant to leave, I told you that.”
“What? Jasper, I’m not leaving until you bring Damiana home!” I see Hayley looking at me, she isn’t believing this,
“She isn’t yours.” My words are harsh and cruel.
“What? Jasper, she is my baby! You can’t do this.”
“I can. You were going to leave her with me anyway and run. You didn’t want the burden kiddo, and you know it.” She may hate me for that, but if it gets Hayley to trust me I will say anything.
“That’s not fair Jasper! You know I was going to leave to protect her, that’s all I have tried to do.”
Hayley looks at me annoyed.
“Protect her? You stayed with a man who was willing to sell her, how the fuck can you say you were trying to protect her Harl? Just pack your shit and leave, she isn’t your daughter, she never was.” I hear her break down crying. Hayley looks happy, but I feel like I have lost her no matter what.
“Jasper, don’t fuck her around!” I hear Rooster and laugh.
Lasing it
“You’re just as bad, staying in a marriage with a woman having an affair. It’s a shame Joel is dead, as that would solve a lot of issues.”
“You’re fucking dead Jasper.” I hear the phone cut out. Maybe I went too far, but I need her to believe me I need her to trust me.
“You annoyed him, Jasper.” She looks at me smiling.
“I’ve had enough of his shit. For twenty years he has complained his wife was having an affair and did nothing. Keep the doors locked. Hayley, regardless of what we’re doing he can’t be trusted.”
“You need to cancel that house you bought Jasper.” I look up at her confused. “It’s wasted.”
“I know, I will sort it, I never wanted it. I need to answer work emails and things. Do you have a laptop?” I know she doesn’t. She shakes her head at me. “It’s fine I will use my phone.” I sit going through emails. for a short while as she watches.
After a bit, I open messages.
I’m sorry baby girl, I meant nothing. The more you spoke the more annoyed she got.
I wait and get no reply, and continue to message apologies and delete. them to hide that I have sent them. I look up hearing Hayley move and watch as she places a baby carrier on herself ensuring Damiana is fastened to her.
Shit, she isn’t going to put her down. I look down at my phone and see the message from Harley.
I don’t care Jasper. I don’t care if you have to agree to kill me, I don’t care if you have to move her into your place or fuck her every night. Do what it takes to get Damiana away from her. Don’t come back until
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you have her.