Silence
The week has passed and I barely see Jasper. I can’t complain though, not when he is working with Sam to get my dad out. I have ordered everything needed for the baby and it is all pilled up in the corner waiting for the room to be finished.
Jasper wanted to decorate it, but I told him it was fine. He is doing too much and needs a break, so decorating the baby room is adding more to his to–do list. Instead little D and Lucas have done the whole room.
I sit watching as they carry the items upstairs, I told them they could put things up but not to set the room up. I know Jasper wants to be involved so it is something we can do together. My phone beeps, picking up I see Jasper’s name.
Did you have dinner baby girl? How did your meeting go this morning with your midwife?
He shouldn’t be messaging me.
I have eaten, stop worrying about me Daddy, we can discuss things when you get home. I’m safe, the baby is safe, and I won’t hate you if you leave and don’t message all day.
I know something I do need to do though. Picking up the file I begin to look through it. This is everything my dad and Sam found about my mum. He has an address for her and a number. I read through everything, she was never married, and never had any other kids.
Picking up my phone I decide to message her.
Hi, is this Rose, who dated Damon? I’m trying to find my mum, and I
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believe you’re her.
I hit send, unsure of if I should have done that, or said it in another way. It’s too late now though. I tried messaging Dawn and Ivy, Ivy ignored me and Dawn replied telling me I was never truly her daughter.
So, I guess those two relationships are gone and never coming back.
“All done.” I look up hearing Lucas. “Your tree gets delivered today don’t forget. Jasper asked me to remind you.” Shit, I forgot.
“Thanks, Lucas.” I smile and watch him leave with Little D. Deciding to cook I walk to the kitchen, knowing that Jasper won’t have eaten well, he never seems to while he is out. I have heard nothing about my dad. Everything is silent. I want to believe it is good, but maybe it isn’t.
I hear the door as I am putting food on the plates and Jasper walks in looking exhausted.
“I cooked Daddy, so eat and sleep.” I carry the plates over and he sits.
“Not for me baby girl. I’m at the club tonight sorting out general issues. We’ve focused so much on your dad that things are slipping and need sorting.” Another night alone.
“Okay Daddy, you eat then work and I will sleep.”
His head shakes.
“No, we sit and talk, I have time to watch a film baby girl. I’m not running straight away. I missed you this week.” He smiles and we continue to eat. I explain the midwife left me with stupid amounts of crap to read, and that the tree came.
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He tells me things are looking good for my dad. Once Sam has a few final bits he is taking it in and hoping that they drop the charges realising there is too much to show he isn’t the one. I want to have hope but I’m afraid I will be devastated when it goes to trial and I feel like it will.
They have Jake and Oliver but aren’t even trying to link them to Joel’s murder even though they were there that night. It’s as if they want my dad sent down. Jasper warned me they would, apparently, a lot of police don’t like him or the bike clubs. So he thinks it’s a way to try and get the clubs to fall and close.
This is one of the reasons I haven’t complained about never seeing Jasper. I don’t want my dad to lose his clubs, so if it means I never see Jasper, I will deal with it.
I find myself falling asleep cuddled into him. We rarely fall asleep in each other arms lately. I feel movement and wake up seeing Jasper rushing, and swearing.
“Everything okay?” I rub my eyes, he looks pissed off.
“Yes baby girl, I fell asleep. Get in bed, I will be back when you wake for breakfast then leave again.” He kisses me and grabs his things.
“Don’t bother coming back Daddy.” He turns and looks at me shocked, okay, that sounded wrong. “I mean if you have an hour spare, have a nap at the club, or wherever you are. I can survive without seeing you.” Standing I hug him.
“Love you, baby girl, I just don’t want to be disappearing and leaving you alone so much.” His forehead leans on mine. “I’m getting everything sorted so when it comes to Christmas I can be here with you.” Kissing me he steps back. “Make sure you drink plenty of water
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and and bus gurl the leave the bee’s title the lies and
I won’t lepe the femuse the bar thing the needle e me calling with ismus, an will at in Willling thegh gets the bedroom stopping 7 turn and will though to the fatheem Sitting down begin
back
folding the lathes and puting them away
Wowing the furniture to where thik soll boek bent know isper wants to help but in the no he the going the will be dead on his feet if Je trøs to do more I don’t know The Tong | qend on the room belivre gong to bed Proving that my and gutte en wen as at least one of them will be around me
and eat baby girl. Maybe leave the house, it’s safe.” He smiles and kisses me before turning and leaving.
I won’t leave the house, the last thing he needs is me calling with issues, so I will stay in. Walking through I go to the bedroom, stopping I turn back and walk through to the baby’s room. Sitting down I begin folding the clothes and putting them away.
Moving the furniture to where I think will look best. I know Jasper wants to help but at the rate he is going he will be dead on his feet if he tries to do more. I don’t know how long I spend in the room before going to bed. Praying that my dad gets out soon so at least one of them will be around more.
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