Chapter 191
I can see she is thinking, and she seems to be struggling to find an answer to my question, and I can’t blame her. She isn’t used to being asked how she feels or why. I need to remember that, but asking her is a good thing.
She needs to get used to this.
“Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me is worried for Marcello, he apologised, he shouldn’t have, I tried talking to him, but I sensed he wanted me away so I left.”
I nod, I spoke to Marcello, so I know his worry.
“Look, Marcello is just worried. You said you would probably beg if you weren’t under contract. Yet there’s no way to be sure. He’s not so worried about what he did, more he lost control, if we hadn’t walked in, he more than likely would have fucked you. Or something else, then he would feel guilty.”
She laughs slightly.
“Why though? You keep telling me I’m not here for that, which is great, but if he wanted it and me, what’s the issue?” There isn’t an
issue.
“There’s no issue, not if you agreed but somewhere in our minds we will always wonder, would you agree without the contract? Would you be here if we ripped it up and said leave? Can you honestly say right. now, if I said you’re free, that you would stay or at least want to see us?” She looks at me and considers it and I can see now she hadn’t
even considered that.
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“See, you hadn’t even considered it, which is why what he did was fucked up. If you were sure fine, but you’re not. So in his head, he did. Wrong.”
“He didn’t care on the bike though?” She looks at me confused.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I think at that point you took him by surprise and it was a thrill, he didn’t consider it. Look puddin, you’re bound to get tempted to taunt and tease. Just before you do, really consider if you had choices, would we be yours?”
I know we wouldn’t, that is why we had Rosalie. She wanted us, but she never wanted marriage, so it made everything easier. I shake my head at the thoughts.
“So, your parents, would you like to find them?” I look at her, maybe if I talk to her she will fall asleep like the other times? I watch her shrug her shoulders. “You must have good memories with them before you were sold? Christmas, birthdays and things.” They kept her for years. That proves somewhere they loved her. I think.
“No, the only happy memories I have of my birthday is I got the day off. I would spend the day alone in the garden while my parents were out working.”
“They spent the mornings with you though right? Cooked and such?” She said she had the day off. She laughs looking at me.
“Calix, my birthday was a day I got off from working for others. I still had to cook and clean at home. My birthday wasn’t any different to other days except for that. I didn’t get presents, cake, or anything.”
“Sorry, you need to refuse to answer sometimes.” She laughs at my words and nods. “Also, while you might taunt and tease, even if you decide you would choose to see us if you had freedom, don’t give in.
Chapter 191
Say no, not all the time, but say no, you will be amazed how powerful it feels.” I smile and nudge her.
“No.”
I roll my eyes at her word and laugh.
“Didn’t feel that good, It was lacking something Calix.”
“God, don’t be a brat, please.” I look at her.
“Don’t worry I won’t, only because it takes too much energy. Don’t try to stop me tomorrow though, as I will ignore you.”
Laughing I nod.
“How did you get into dancing?”
I watch as her head drops.
“Don’t answer.” I shake my head, it isn’t a good story and she shouldn’t tell me if she isn’t ready.
“I’m fine to tell you. Just, eventually, I know Demitri and Marcello will ask, so would rather just tell you three together than separately. I have a question for you Calix. You keep asking me questions and look shocked by them like my parents not celebrating my birthday and things. I’m guessing you grew up with birthdays and such?”
Is that how it comes across?
“I guess puddin, it’s more I am shocked by how much you have faced, each time I think that will be something you had in your life to enjoy I find out it wasn’t. To answer your question though, our parents adored us. Our father died when I was young, and my mother, well.” I consider my next words. “This city was our fathers. She didn’t want to
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lose it, as it was ours. We were too young though. So a lot of men
brought us up, and most of them were vicious, I was eighteen when her newest partner killed her.”
I see her shocked look, and sympathy floods her face.
“I’m sorry Calix, you don’t need to tell me.”
“I don’t, but I should. We know so much about you.”
She nods and looks at me like he is working things out.
“You’re the oldest though aren’t you?” She looks at me confused.
“Yes. Marcello was sixteen, and Demitri was fourteen. I was out, Demitri called screaming he couldn’t stop Wayne. Whenever he tried saving our mother Wayne turned on him. I rushed home but it was too late, Wayne was gone, our mother was dead and Demitri was well Demitri.”
She looks at me confused.
“For another day, just don’t mention anything about it though Daisy, I’m not sure how they would feel about me telling you already.”
She nods and smiles cuddling into me.
“Tell me about her, your mum. So I know what a real mum is like.” She smiles up at me and I nod. Sitting I tell her stories, and each one makes me smile, while slowly ripping me apart, the guilt building because I wasn’t at home when I should have been.
I tell her stories, and she listens, truly fascinated by them as I feel myself drifting asleep wrapped around her.
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