Chapter 46
I didn’t understand why he was so shocked. It’s not like he has never seen a wolf shift before. In fact, he has helped some of our pack members shift when their time came.
It felt different being in this form. Unlike the other forms where Nyx and I shared control, in our wolf form, Nyx was more dominant, and I was the one relegated to her consciousness.
Using the little strength we had, Nyx pushes us up, and we stand on wobbly legs. It felt different and weird being on four feet, instead of two. Things were much sharper though; the smell, sight and hearing.
The pain just as quickly as it came, it disappeared, only leaving behind soreness which I am sure will be taken care of with a hot soak.
“How do you feel?” I ask Nyx.
There wasn’t really anything around in her mind. I really don’t know how to explain it. This is the first time that the roles have been reversed. It’s like I was part of her consciousness only without a form. It sounds **y when I try to explain it, but I simply exist in her mind. Like an inner voice or some s**t like that.
“Great actually” she replies, her excitement drumming inside her. “It’s good to be free. It’s been such a long time
since I’ve had my wolf form and I have missed it.”
I stare confused, King and Raven completely forgotten.
“What do you mean by ‘such a long time’? We shifted for the first time only a few minutes ago,” I question her, my suspicions at their peak.
“Opps” she murmurs. “My tongue slipped, it’s nothing.”
Before I can ask any more questions, she takes off in a sprint, completely ignoring King’s calls.
She runs past trees at a really dizzying speed, the wind rushing against her fur, while her tongue hangs from her
mouth.
I wanted to ask her more, but she had blocked me, which just infuriated me. I want so much to enjoy this run with her, but how could I when she’s keeping secrets from me?
When she said that it’s been a long time since she ran, it insinuated that she’s done this before. Which can’t be possible because wolf spirits are given to their human counterparts from birth. We only shift at twenty-one because, by then, the human is strong enough both m**y and physically and can handle a shift.
As much as I want to believe her. Believe that it’s nothing, I can’t. I then remember she said the same thing in the office. I had been too distracted after finding out that Alec was my mate, to realize what she said.
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So, if I were to go by her statement, then it means that this isn’t the first time Nyx has shifted. Does that mean that I’ve been given someone else’s wolf spirit? Is Nyx a reincarnation? Am I a reincarnation? And if it’s true, and Nyx is a reincarnated wolf spirit, how old is she? And who was her first human?
“You’re thinking too much” Nyx interrupts my thoughts. “Can’t you just put what I said to rest? I already told you it’s nothing.”
I want to believe her, but I can’t.
“If you want me to put it to rest, then tell me the truth.”
“I already did” she growls distractedly, almost missing a step.
Rolling my eyes, I sneer. “And we both know you’re lying.”
Not having the answers was slowly killing me. Slowly driving me to the brink of insanity. Why couldn’t she see that? It’s not like giving me the answers would kill me, so why the hell was she withholding them?
“Give it a rest, Sadie, and let me enjoy my **n run” she snaps.
If stubbornness was a being, then it would be Nyx. She and her d**n secrets. What is it about them that she kept them close to her heart? Didn’t she trust me enough? Is that it?
Feeling overwhelmed, I try pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind. I was tired and worn out physically. The last thing I needed was also to be tired m**y.
I stand back and let her do her thing. The last thing I see before I shut my eyes is the scenery flashing past my eyes.
I
I think a little rest would do me good. The past few hours have been trying and exhausting.
My eyes snap open when I hear Nyx groaning. I was afraid that she might have been hurt while I was soundly taking a nap. When my eyes focus, I am faced by a very dead deer that had its throat ripped open.
“Nyx-“I call, trying to avoid the deer’s empty eyes, they felt like they were staring straight at me.
Sure, I have killed a lot of rogues and hybrids since my first kill when I first met King, but this felt different. Maybe because it’s an innocent animal.
“Oh, stop with the guilt”, Nyx drops the animal. “I’m sure our pack will appreciate that their alpha hunted for
them.”
“You do realize you didn’t have to do that, right?” I ask, still eyeing the dead animal. “That’s why we have b**s delivering meat every week.”
She scoffs before grabbing the anile. She continues to pull it towards the pack. “I know, but it’s always been a tradition. I don’t know why it was wiped out, but it was a tradition for every Alpha or future Alpha to hunt for their
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pack on their first shift. I’m just honoring it.”
I’ve never heard of that kind of tradition, which begs the question, how old is Nyx?
“How old are you?” I ask her desperately. “If you won’t tell me anything, at least tell me this one thing.”
“Old enough”
I groan in annoyance. That wasn’t an answer, but a deflection. Instead of saying anything, I keep quiet, fuming on the inside at her refusal to give me an answer,
“I’m tired and spent” she says when we get to the clearing. “Get ready to take control.”
That’s the only warning I get. Luckily, this transition isn’t as painful as the first. Within seconds, I am on my hands
and knees.
I stand up only to see King and Raven rushing towards me.
“Where have you been?” Raven asks, worrying coating her voice,
King hands me my clothes. “We have been worried about you since Nyx sprinted away.”
“You could have just followed her” I mutter, slowly putting my clothes on, wincing at my sore bones.
“No, I couldn’t… I couldn’t smell her. I think she masked her scent.”
Now, why would she do that? I would have asked her, but she has blocked our m**l link.
“We need to take this to the pack” I say, ignoring everything since I didn’t have any answer to give them. “Nyx went hunting”
D**n. All I want right now is a deep soak in the bathtub and sleep. The nap I took while Nyx was in control wasn’t really enough.
“Did you know?” King asks, staring at me intensely.
“Know what, King? You have to be a bit more specific than that. There are a lot of things I don’t f*** know
about.”
I didn’tckin mean to snap at him, but I was on edge. Alec was in my pack and was my mate. Just yesterday, I had transformed into something no one has ever seen before and instead of two forms like a normal wolf, I had three… And my wolf was keeping things from me.
Everything was starting to weigh me down. I just don’t know how to handle everything that has been coming my
way.
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Chapter 46
“That you’re a white wolf” Raven answers, pulling me from thoughts.
“No, why?”
They look at each other before facing me. Apart from my paw, I didn’t get to see the rest of my wolf form. I didn’t think much about it because there are wolves with white paws, though the rest of their bodies are a different color.
And so what if I am a white wolf? There isn’t anything wrong with it, so I don’t get why King seems to be making a big deal out of it. Is this why he looked shocked when he first saw Nyx after we shifted?
“You don’t know, do you?” he asks, in a voice barely above a whisper.
“Know what, King?” he was starting to get on my nerves honestly. What’s with the beating around the bush?
“A white wolf is rare, Sadie…I mean really, really rare” he finally answers.
“What?” This time, I am the one that’s shocked.
He continues, shocking me even more than 1 I already am. “In fact, the moon goddess is the only one ever recorded to have a pure white wolf.”
F**k. As if I didn’t already have enough mysteries surrounding me, now this? Was the goddess trying to drive me to insanity, because she was doing a hella good job at it.
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